In My Eyes

Unforgetable Past

       Another year has passed and a new year is starting......Hu a new year imagen that. I have made it another year looking back I didn't think I would even make it this far. Growing up all I have know is pain and sarrow nothing els. I use to cry everyday when I was little, I couldn't escape it in my dreams.

          As I grew older I learned to hide my emotions behind a smile that look so real. I watched as the people arounded me cry, fight, lie, cheat, kill, and beat each other up day in and day out. I learned to keep how i felt, thought, and saw to myself or i end up beat. Everything I have seen just kills me inside everyday, but I did nothing to stop it. I watched as my mom got beat everyday, my sister rapped, and i just sat in the corrner hiding away, so i just drank the memmiores away.

           When drinking didn't work I turned to drugs anything that would take the memmories away, to make my everyday hell disapear from my mind. I just wanted to die for at least I could be free. I once so close but then everything changed, it was like i just opened my eyes for the first time in my life. I know its so cliche to say, but that is the only way to discribe it. I didn't want the drugs, the alchol, or the escape. I didn't want to sit quietly and do nothing anymore. I didn't want to just watch as my mom and sister get hurt day in an day out. I was done hiding from the pain.

             That said I got off the cold ass ground and ran home, I didn't stop running until I got home and heard the filmiar screams of my mom begging to him to leave my sister alone. I busted through the door and did something I never thought I would be able to do. I pushed him away and stood in front of my mom and sister blocking them from him. When he got up he hit me an told me to move, but didn't I wouldn't. He will not hurt them.....no..........US anymore.

              Wen he tried to hit me, i thought about everything i have seen, felt, and i took all that an let it go. I grab his hand an i looked him in the eyes and told him "I will NOT be pushed around by you anymore you will not touch them.....US again!!! i'm not afraid of you anymore!!! you fucking shit of a Father!!" With that i hit him an hit him and hit him other and other again untill my sister grabbed my arm that i relised he was out.

                After that mom called the cops and she stood up not only her kids but for herslf. She told the cops evrything about the abuse, rape, and how I was just prottecting them. That day he went to jail an we never saw or heard from him again, we were more than pleased. After the cops had left and it was just my mom, sister, and me I finally broke down.

                I apolgized to them for not doing anything all those years, for just watching it happen, sorry for not standing up to him sooner, I just kept saying I'm so sorry over and over crying for the first time in years. My sister wrapped her arms arround me looked me in the eyes with tear falling down her cheeks an said "But you STOPED it! An from now on you protect us from all the bad things, right?"  All i could do was nod my head and cry hard as she for gave me, and i looked at my mom she was crying to she walked over to us and rapped her arms around us an told us that she loved us over and over again.

                 It has been nine years sense that day, and a lot has changed. We moved after that man was put away, he got put away for twenty years. Mom opened her dream bakery, she even met someone and remarried he's a great guy he makes her laugh again. My sister is in her third year as a med student, she also has a great girlfriend, when she told me an mom that she was gay we didn't care, we just hugged her and told her it was okay, no matter what ,I couldn't be more proud of my little sis. As for me I opened up a center for families and kids who are in need of help. I even meet a girl, the wedding is in May. I can honestly say I'm happy, and I'm not lieing.

                 Looking back I would never imagen this would be my life at all. If you asked me back then where i see myself in ten years, i would have told you i would be dead in some alley way or ditch. Now If you ask me where i see myself in ten years I would say with my family. I can't wait for what the future has in stor but I know this it will be nothing like the past.