Falling Apart Together

Chapter 5

The bar in question was pretty shady, they didn’t even ask for an ID. She wasn’t here for the atmosphere anyway. She needed some liquid courage for what she was about to do.

Dale got them a table in the back that looked pretty secluded. After ordering the cheapest shots they could get for Amy and a Pina Colada for him, Dale sat down and sighed.

“Amy, why are we here? I mean, I’m all for an old fashioned night of drinking cheap booze, but you just don’t seem like the type.”
“Look, that DJ was my ex.” If Dale was shocked that his roommate was a lesbian, he didn’t show it.  “I owe her an explanation, if not more than that. We have a lot of history, and not all of it good. So, I’m trying to get hammered before I talk to her.”

“Wait, do you even know where she lives?”

“Even if I did, I wouldn’t be brave enough to go over there. No, I’m going to call her. I might get lucky, maybe she doesn’t pick up and I can just leave a message… Then again, with my luck she’ll probably pick up on the first ring.”

“Yeah, it definitely sounds like you need some more drinks.” He signaled the bartender and he started preparing some more shots.
“If she does pick up, what are you going to tell her?”

“The truth, I guess. I’m not trying to get back together or anything, I just want to explain.”

Dale remained silent after that, occasionally drinking a bit of his fancy cocktail.

“What, you don’t believe me? I swear, I do think we made the right decision breaking up!”
No matter how loud she yelled that, a nagging voice in her head told her that maybe she wasn’t so sure. In the end, it wasn’t like her decision had worked out so great.

“No, I believe you. It’s just that… Seeing her again after two years, it might be more than coincidence. I’m not a big believer in fate or destiny or anything, but you have to admit that the odds of such an encounter are pretty low.”

Now that Amy thought about it, she recalled that Reagan was studying at a university in Texas. She must have transferred in the last two years.

“Well, Coincidences do happen. Anyway, I’ll find out soon enough. I feel appropriately buzzed, I’m gonna head back.”

“I’ll stay here for a while, if you don’t mind. Some friends of mine are coming over here.” Amy shrugged at that. She didn’t need Dale to be there when she called Reagan.
“Good luck!” She was going to need it.

Her dorm building was pretty much deserted, most people were off celebrating surviving the first day of college. Amy didn’t mind the solitude. She took her phone from her purse and took three deep breaths.

Reagan’s number was still on speed dial, but Amy didn’t need that. She would never forget that number.
She dialed it and pressed the call button. It was too late to turn back now, no matter how bad she’d like to.

1 ring. 2 rings. 3 rings. 4 rings. Finally some luck, Reagan wasn’t going to pick up. Amy was just going to press the end call button, when she heard a click from the speaker.

“This better be good.”
 Amy wasn’t ready for this. She wasn’t ready at all. But there was no turning back now.

“Reagan?” Oh god. “Reagan, it’s Amy. I… I just want to explain. Please, just hear me out,  okay?”

There was silence at the other end of the line. For a second she could’ve sworn Regan had hung up.
But then she heard her voice again, speaking slowly, pronouncing each word clearly.
“Fine. I’ll listen. For old time’s sake.”
Amy hadn’t realized she was holding her breath, hadn’t realized how bad she had wanted to hear Reagan’s voice again.

Reagan’s voice interrupted her train of thought. “You could begin with telling me what yesterday was about.”

“That guy you saw me with is my roommate… We aren’t together or anything, he kissed me because he ran into his ex and because he’s kind of an idiot.”

“So you aren’t dating this one. Any other guys in your life?” Her words were filled with venom.

“God, no! And there will never be. As far as girls go, I haven’t been seeing anyone since…”
She didn’t need to complete that sentence, they both knew what she was talking about.

“How about Karma?” And now Amy realized. She had thought Reagan was angry, and she could have handled that. But this was worse. She was hurt.

“I’m- I’m not exactly on speaking terms with Karma right now. I haven’t been for two years, actually…”

She heard Reagan’s voice break. “Then why did you do it Amy? Why did you pick her over me? I loved you!”

And right now, Amy honestly didn’t know. Why had she ever picked anyone over Reagan?
“Reagan, I… I made some mistakes. No, scratch that. I made one giant huge mistake. I really thought that what Karma and I had was the sort of friendship that could last for ages. I guess I was wrong, we stopped talking a week after we’d broken up. Anyway, I can’t undo that now, no matter how bad I’d want to. But I want to start over. I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed you, and I really want you back in my life.”

“You don’t understand Amy! I can’t just go back to being your friend, not after what we had!
You don’t know what losing you did to me. I can’t do that to myself, not again. You can’t give me my life back, Amy. You can’t give me my time back. You can’t give me my breath back.”

“I know. But maybe, just maybe I can give your -no- our hope back. I’m not asking you to forgive me, not yet. But could you please just try? For me?”

The line remained quiet for a while. When Reagan spoke again, her voice had regained some of its usual confidence
“Why not? You’re still on probation though, just remember that.”

Amy exhaled in relief. This had gone better than expected.
“You want to meet sometime? Grab a coffee or something?” She needed to be assertive now, something Raven had always been in their relationship.

“Coffee sounds good. Call me tomorrow, alright?”

The call ended and Amy put her phone down. She had actually done it. She was going to see Reagan again. She felt something wet rolling down her cheek and found that she was actually crying of relief.

Then the door behind her was thrown open and a girl with champagne-colored hair came in.
“You miss me for three days and you’re already crying? We really need to work on those attachment issues. What’s going on?”

Lauren was here. It was going to be alright between her and Reagan. She hadn’t felt so happy in a long time.