I tapped my temple, frustrated, I'm editing the article 'My Next Chapter' for my announcement on the Players' Tribune. The announcement that I will be heading to Golden State, the announcement that... that is like a text message breakup to Russell.
This is dumb. I am dumb, what am I doing? Should I pull out? Is it too late?
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I've spent 9 years with Russell and nothing happened, we won nothing. Someone had to do something eventually right? So here I am, gnawing nervously at the end of my pencil as I stare at my computer screen. My mind is in shambles. It's all white noise.
Then the dust in my mind settles and I count back to Russell. I didn't indicate a breakup, I didn't say anything to him. He's just giving me the silent treatment after yet another fight. We've been fighting a lot lately, ever since our loss to Golden State. It's frustrating to continuously lose over and over again.
Do you know what's more frustrating? To be yelled at over and over again. Oh God, I can hear his yelling right now.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
But it's about love, right? So why, if I loved Russ so much did I want to get away so badly. Why was I so done with these dumb fights?
And it's not like we haven't already had this discussion. We've tried to fix our short temperaments towards each other, but somehow it always ends up with my car being keyed or painted over.
It got to a point where I would struggle with every game because my mind was crowded and stressed on the last fight we had.
"Kevin, you know I never liked that Russ guy, he's just not a match for you," my mom would say. I used to get so frustrated when she said something like that because all I saw was the good times me and Russell had. I mean, I loved him. And, I still do...
