my strong baby - fourth grade

two; a girl that skates.

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"where are you going sweetie?" mom asked as i walked past her with forty bucks brayden gave me and stood in front of the doorway. "just gonna look around for some skateboard shops and get a new deck." 

she smiled at me from the couch. "oh okay, well just be back soon." 

 "uh, sure. of course. i will." and with that i went out the door and on my way to find a skate shop. it took longer than i expected to find on, but it was still worth it. 

i walked in the store and immediately looked at the wall where the decks were. there was so many to choose from.

"you in the right store, shawty?"

my head turned to see a group of boys sitting on a couch watching something on a tv. some of the boys snickering at the blonde haired with brown skin's comment. 

"yeah, i'm sure." i said. and resumed looking at the decks. hearing an odd conversation between the boys that were sitting over by the couch.

"fuckshit, would you rather...suck your dad dick, or eat your mom out?" one asked.

another raised up from his seat. "you'd suck your dad's dick, right?"

fuckshit's face scrunched up but chuckled anyways. "hey, whatever i'm doing, i'm drugging one of those motha fuckas," he said. "i'm not gonna say who but i'm gonna drug the motha fuckas till they sleep."

one of the boys eyes widened a bit "you're gonna rape your parents?"

"huh?"

"that's like...that's rape."

"i'd rather rape one of my parents than to consciously-."

"yo, what the fuck?" one of the boys said. which fuckshit just replied with a chuckle and said. "i'm not tripping. life or death. life or death."

he then paused and said. "fuck it, i'd just rape my parents, or one of them."

the whole group laughed, even i let out a small chuckle at his words. the male customer in front of him though didn't think the joke was so funny. as he responded with "hey, for real, i'm never coming back here again." as he took the board and put down his money on the counter.

fuckshit exhaled out and turned over to his friends. "y'all niggas are scaring off customers."

the darkskin boy leaned over to speak to the male customer. "this is not an accurate representation of what we usually talk about."

once the man walked past me who previously paid for his board i made myself over to the counter. fuckshit turned over to me and licking his lips. "whatchu want, shordy?"

i put down the forty bucks brayden gave me on the counter. "i need a deck, please. the one right up there. and griptape." i said pointing up to a specific one

he licked his lips at me. "sure thing, mama." and took the plain deck off and started to apply the griptape on it. "so what's a nice girl like you needing a skateboard for." 

my face scrunched up. "what do you mean 'a nice girl like me,' y'all never seen a girl that skates before?"

the others laughed, and one of them with darkskin and dreads shook his head. "nah, you'd be the first." 

fuckshit chuckled. "i bet she ain't even know any tricks," the other laughed. 

"yes i do." 

all the boys stopped talking and looed over at me, fuckshit but with a smirk on his face. "oh for real? show me den'."

my head shook. "i can't, i only have my deck."

fuckshit scoffed. "whatever," and grabbed bearings, griptape, and other things to complete the board and started to work on putting it together. once i realized what he i was doing i tried to stop him. "oh, i don't have enough money."

the darkskin raised up. "what are you doing, man?" 

"relax, nigga. i'll cover it," fuckshit said. "i wanna see this shawty do some tricks, you with me fourth grade?"

i turned over to look at a certain boy, who goes by fourth grade. he had pale skin and acne all over his face, but it was kinda cute. he seemed quiet, and had a camera in his hands. 

"oh um, sure. yeah i'm with you." he said.

fuckshit finished my board and handed it to me. "here you go, ma." 

i looked over at the clock and then back at him. smirking and taking the finished board from his hands. "thanks, but i gotta go." and turned around. 

"bro what? you said you know how to do tricks, how do i know you're telling the truth if you gonna leave?" fuckshit asked. 

i chuckled. "i guess you'll just have to catch me down the street." 

it was now later in the day and i got home. walking into the living room and seeing brayden sitting on the couch. i sat down and joined him. brayden's eyes stayed glued on the tv. "hey." 

"hey," i said. "whatcha watching."

"it." he looked down at my hands. "nice board." 

i smiled. "thanks, hopefully someone won't break it this time." i laughed at my own joke and waited for him to show any sign of happiness towards it; but he didn't. he just stayed looking at the tv just as he did before. 

i got up from the couch. "where's mom and dad?" 

"they left. didn't ask where they went." he said. 

"okay, well...i'm gonna go to my room. so i'll talk to you later?" 

he response was hesitant. "okay." 

i walked in my room and closed the door. sliding the it and buried my face in my hands. god, it's like i was talking to a stranger out there. what the fuck happened. 

i just want my brother.