To the Past?!

Chapter 3: Elder Dimension of Otsutsuki Clan

"Hey Mom, hey Dad."

Those words were the final straw for Minato and Kushina. Already shocked by what had happened so far with the Kyuubi incident that they miraculously survived, the time travel claims, the Kyuubi out of its cage, and now a teenager calling them his parents. So they did the one thing they were still capable of in their current mental state. They fainted. Shu, Kurama and Naruto all lasted about 3 seconds before they burst out laughing, which was rather impressive considering just how comical it was to see Minato and Kushina foaming at the mouth.

"Can't breathe..." Naruto gasped, leaning against the bars of the open cage for support.

"I had forgotten just how amusing you humans could be," Kurama gasped, on his back and hugging his chest in the hilarity of the situation.

"I really wish we could have a camera in here," Shu wheezed with effort. "This would be blackmail gold right here."

After they had sobered up, Naruto went to try to wake Kushina up first. "Uh, hey Mom, you all right?" Then he shuddered as he felt a large grade of killing intent. Before he could respond to this, Kushina jolted upward, and socked Naruto right in the face, sending him into the wall and making a crater that would make Tsunade jealous.

"Who the hell do you think you are?!" Kushina demanded as she started to stomp on the soon to be corpse, kicking up an anime style dust cloud. "Do I LOOK old enough to have a son your age? DO I?!" As Naruto was begging for mercy, both Kurama and Shu were laughing their asses off again.

"And this would be blackmail platinum," panted Shu.

"Serves you right, Kit." Kurama gasped.

.... At a bar near the outskirts of the leaf village, a certain blonde lady with a killer bust froze. For some reason, she felt as though her record of delivering the worst beating to an idiotic male was in jeopardy. She wished that Jiraiya was around for the first time in a while, so that she could re-establish dominance. Then her prayers were answered as some stupid drunk tried to cop a feel on her from behind. The resulting screams were heard for miles away. Kami, she loved chakra enhanced strength.

..... Once Naruto's beating was finished, Shu was able to calm Kushina down (which Naruto angrily noted he took his sweet time in doing) and they were able to bring Minato back to the world of the living. After that, they began to explain how Minato and Kushina both died in the original timeline and that upon the revival of the Jyuubi, they had to resort to time travel. Naruto was quick to explain that he was seventeen in the mindscape due to being from the future, and this being his real mental age.

"Call me crazy, but I actually believe this story," Minato said.

"You are not just crazy, you are bat shit loco," Kushina cracked, earning a laugh from everyone present. "But I believe it too."

"The question now is where we go from here," Minato said. "All we really learned so far is how the world ended up, not how it got there in the first place."

"As to that, I will not give many details yet on each future event," Shu responded. Noticing the confused and indignant looks he was getting, he clarified, "Look at it this way. If we went around changing everything bad, that stupid butterfly effect would basically ruin any plans we may have. If too many things get changed, we will throw the entire timeline out of whack, and the knowledge of what will happen in the future will become worse than useless, because if we plan for one thing, and something entirely different occurs, we are just asking for disaster. As such, the Elder Dimension guidelines state that what we change will be between me and Naruto."