Make-up

As I put a concealer, I am hiding all my imperfections not just physically but also emotionally. Next is foundation, it smoothes every part of my face, giving me an equal complexion, an added cover-up. I added colors by putting a tint on my dou, cheeks and lips, an extra help for my disguise.

            As I finished my make-up, I look at the mirror and look at myself. I don’t see myself I see another person’s reflection. I can’t see the pain and the sadness, the sign of tears caused by someone’s brutal action.

            I put on my best attire, Versace skinny jeans, a Chanel top, a Jimmy Choo shoes and a Hermes bag to finish it all. Time to go to school and faced the real world that seems better than my life at home.

            I’m Tara, people call me as the queen bee of my campus. I’m on top, everybody knows me. Ladies are so jealous of me and guys want me. But I don’t care what women in the campus are talking about me and I’m not interested of any men at all.

            I’m not a man hater but I’m never a great believer of love because if love truly exists, I should not be at anguish at all. I don’t know why I can never give love and make someone my whole life. I know the answer deep within me but I’m just in denial.

            My life at school is the best if people would see it but deep inside me I know that I have never been happy and I never felt blessed or contented at all. You may say I have everything but behind all this I have nothing. It’s just a mask, a disguise, a trickery of prosperity but the truth is I’m more unfortunate than the poorest of them all.

            School is my little paradise, this is where my fantasy of real life occurs but everyone hates and envies me but then I don’t mind at all. This is the closest thing I could get from freedom and I would do everything to have it despite all the negative things it can cause to others.

            As my class for the day comes to an end, I know what is coming next for me, hell. I always hate the end of the day where I go home and returned to reality.

            I came home and went directly at my room. I took every sign of disguise I am in. As I look at my reflection, I’m seeing the real me, I have not even felt and seen that tears are already falling from my eyes.

            If only I could run away from this hell but I can’t. Home is where one’s heart belongs to but I never found that place.

            Life can sometimes be very cruel and I’m the unluckiest person in the world. I don’t know what to do but to go with the flow, to let life move its own track. I don’t care anymore for my life is worthless.

            As I hear the roaring of the car’s machine making a stop in front of our house. I know immediately that soon Satan will be coming to spread his evil.

            If only I can hide, shout asking for help and if only I can tell somebody. The truth is that I can’t do anything for I will lose everything I have, not the wealth but the people I care and love so much, my loving mother, my sweet siblings, the family that is so important for me.

            He entered my room and did everything he desires, every wicked thing he could think of. His eyes were red like fire, I can see his invisible horn and tail. He had a big smirk on his face showing how he truly enjoys his doings. After his thirst was fulfilled, he left me on the bed and left again.

            Dying would be a better thing than what had just happened to me. I can’t move my body, I’m numb but tears keep on flowing like a streaming river. My mother entered my room and hugged and cried with me. She doesn’t know what to say or do anymore but share my pain.

            This is my real life, a life worst than being thrown in the purgatory or hell. This had been happening ever since I entered puberty. It started with a simple touch to sensual to hugs to kisses and it ended on bed.

            I’m shattered but I should stay strong for my mother and for my siblings. My happiness is unimportant compare to the happiness of my most loved family. I know I’m being dumb and weak but I can’t do anything but to live life not for my sake but for the precious people in my life who are the only source of light in this darkness where I’m in.