Heard You Say, Not Today (Heard Your Voice, There's No Choice)

Logan can tell, the second he wakes up to the feeling of his boyfriend curled up next to him, the sight of sunbeams streaming through the crack in the curtains and the sound of beautiful song birds, that he's not going to be able to do much at all today. Despite all these wonderful things to wake up to, he can't help but feel the figurative weight on his heart pressing down and the feeling of something vaguely bad-feeling filling his entire body. The depression is illogical, he tells himself. He's physically able to wake up, be productive and take good care of himself, but there's invisible shackles keeping him in place.

As he listens to his internal monologue miserably, Patton slowly starts to blink awake next to him, giving him a sleepy smile.

"Morning, Lo." He greets him tiredly and reaches out one arm to rest across Logan's abdomen. He looks so ethereal, he may as well have a glowing halo over his head, highlighting the faded blue in his hair and the constellations of summer freckles on his nose. Logan focusses on these things, tries to feel anything positive.

"Good morning, darling." His voice comes out affectionately but weary, like he's been awake for days, even though he's only been awake for a couple of minutes. Patton seems to notice this; he shuffles to prop himself up on one elbow and leans over Logan, pressing their lips together. The kiss is gentle, like Patton's handling something fragile, and Logan attempts once again to feel a spark of affection, but the feeling is subdued, muffled by the static in his head.

After a few seconds, Patton pulls back and sits up fully, still gazing at him through beautifully hazel eyes, his vision obviously obscured by the lack of glasses. "Are you okay?" He asks softly. That soft voice. Logan can never get enough of the way words just breeze past his lips, wistful, excitable but sensible when he needs to be. There's a moment of silence between the two as Logan registers the question and thinks, wondering if he should say yes or be honest, until at last he shakes his head slowly, almost afraid to admit it. Patton frowns, but then simply wraps his arms around Logan's waist and snuggles back up to him. "That's okay. It's okay." He whispers.

They remain like that for some time as the post-sleep drowsiness begins to leave them. Eventually the two of them shift so that Patton's laying on top of Logan, his nose brushing against his cheek, providing some external warmth to counter the drained feeling in Logan's insides. It's working just a little. Patton can help him. He'll feel okay, eventually. He hopes.

"You're not motivated to do anything today?" The soft words are heard again, closer this time as Patton murmurs against Logan's skin.

The long answer is that he wants to be motivated, he wants to spend today getting work done and then watching movies and kissing Patton senseless like he does on most days, but he can't bring himself to feel as excited about it as he wants. However, saying all of that seems like too much of an effort for his brain, so he settles for, "Not today."

The words seem to elicit a small, strangely excited gasp from Patton as he sits up yet again. "Hey, you're quoting one of our favourite songs! Y'know how it goes?" He shuffles off of a confused-looking Logan and out of their bed, walking over to the curtains. "Heard you say, 'not today', tore the curtains down, windows open, now make a sound." As he sings the line, he throws the curtains open to allow in the stream of natural sunlight and fresh air from the slightly parted window. He turns to look at Logan with a smile as bright as said sunlight.

Maybe he will manage to get out of his depressed state, just for a while.

Logan sits up to lean his back against the headrest with the subtlest smile on his face at Patton's antics. "There's many songs we know called 'Not Today', including the one by Alessia Cara and the one by BTS, but the lyrics to that one make sense right now. I appreciate the sentiment."