The heart wants what it wants

I am me

LAUREN'S POV

"Dinah! Dinah! I need to talk to you!"

"Coming, Lauren!" Dinah yelled from upstairs. I had to talk to her about my secret.

"What?" she asked as she met me at the door.

"I have to tell them"

"Are you sure Lauren?"

"Yeah.... They have to know"

"Okay. What are you going to say?"

"I'm just going to say the words right out"

"When?"

"I don't know.... After dinner?"

"What about during dinner? They will notice that you're more distant than usual if you wait too long"

"Yeah.... You're probably right" I said as I stared at Camila standing outside by the trees with the other girls. She looked up at us and waved her hands saying we had to come down to them. Normani was chasing Ally around and Camila couldn't stop laughing. I smiled to myself and felt Dinahs eyes on me. "I wasn't staring" I said and walked towards the others. I heard a small chuckle behind me.

"Sure, Lauren. I believe you" she said and ran past me helping Normani chase poor Ally.

I sat down under one of the trees and Camila did the same.

"Did you guys build that treehouse?" Camila asked me and pointed to the treehouse the four of us build a long time ago.

"Yeah. Ally's father helped us building it when we were 7" I said and smiled at the memory.

"You guys seem really close" she said and looked at me"

"Yeah. We are. That doesnt mean we could get close to you too" I said and smiled at Camila. She smiled back and looked at the girls who had now managed to catch Ally.

"Poor Ally" Camila said and laughed a little. "She is so small"

"Yeah. She is, but her voice is damn amazing"

"She sings?" Camila asked suprised.

"Yeah, all three of them does"

"What about you? You sang for me yesterday. Your voice is amazing too"

"Nah.. I don't know... I usually sing in the shower"

"Don't be shy Lern Jergi. You are really good!"

"What about you, Camz? Do you sing?"

"Only in the shower"

"Sing something for me" I demanded.

"No, I don't know"

"Come on Camz!"

"Okay, okay. What do you want me to sing?" she asked.

"Mhmm. What about I Am Me by Willow? Do you know that song?"

"I love that song! Uhm, sure" she said and smiled before she started singing.

"I'm meee, I'm mee, and that's all I can be
I'm meee, I'm eee, here's my vulnerability
I'm free
And you can't stop meee,
I'm free, and that's all I can be
Days pass, I'm tryna find who I really am
I've been looking
People don't like the way I dress
Or where I'm at, I've been looking
I dy my hair and it's not just vanity
I've been looking
Your validation it's not just that important to me
I'm meee, I'm mee, and that's all I can be
I'm meee, I'm eee, hete's my vulnerability.
I'm freee. And you can't stop meee,
I'm free, I'm meee, and that's all I can be
Night falls and I find it here I am in peace
I've been looking
Making friends with spirits lost
And it sets me free, I've been looking
Express myself cause it's my liberty
I've been looking
Your validation it's not just that important to me"

"Wow!" I said and smiled. "Thats really good!"

The other girls had sat down infront of us listening to Camilas special and beautiful voice.

"That was really beautiful Camila!" Ally said and smiled at her.

"Thanks guys" Camila said and we all did a group hug.

-----(DJ and Camz making dinner)-----
CAMILA'S POV

"So, whats up with you and Lauren?" Dinah asked me and wiggeled her eyebrows.

"Nothing... I dont know.. Is it that ovbious?"

"Oh yeah! Lauren is just a little... oblivius sometimes"

"Tell me something I dont know"

"Just tell her'"

"Tell her what? That I like her? She is straight.. I'm a girl, she's a girl"

"There is alot you don´t know about Lauren, Mila. Just wait, and you´ll see. Maybe she would turn gay just for you!" Dinah said and laughed a little.

"Thats not funny"

"A little?"

"No.."

"Come on, Camila. Smile a little! This may be the last night we´re here"

"I know" I said and looked towards the livingroom were the other waited for us to finnish the food. 

"You know, Lauren is full of surprises. You never know when that girl has something huge to say. She just broke up with her boyfriend, she isnt usually so closed up" Dinah paused. "I don´t know what happened between them... But since Lauren is acting the way she is, it has to be something sirious. She usually talk to us about these stuff"

"She just seems so broken, you know?" Dinah spoke up again. 

"Yeah. I kinda know how it feels to be heartbroken"

"But you´ve never had a girlfriend, nor a boyfriend". Dinah looked at me like she didnt understand how my heart could´ve been broken by someone else then a girl or a boy.

"My heart wasn´t broken by a girlfriend or a boyfriend... My heart was broken by someone you expect to be there from the day you´re born until the day they die. My heart was broken by someone who stands even closer to your heart then a boy or a girl.. The ones that teaches you how to walk, how to speak, how to be a human"

Dinah was at loss of words. We both had tears in our eyes. "Dinner!" I yelled so the others could hear me. "Do not say anything, okay?" Dinah just nodded and helped me with the food and soda. "I just don´t want Lauren, or the others to know yet" I whispered as the girls came into the kitchen. We´all sat down by the table and started eating. 

"I have something to say to you guys" Lauren spoke up. "I have been thinking about this for a long time.. And it´s tiring.. I sick and tired of hiding the real me for you guys. Y´all deserve to know the truth". She was quite until she spoke up again. "I like boys...... And girls"