My Life Story

Oh Great

Today back to school…

Guess what everyone now knows about me and Jake last night. Some people came up to me saying I was lucky, but others were saying nothing like that. All school day today I heard people whispering about me saying like, “oh that new girl is such a whore or slut.” But that isn’t even close to my actual personality. Even Mia understood; the thing is why wasn’t Mia getting called names… how come it was only me. That’s what I don’t understand.

*******

I walked by Jake in the halls later on that day. All he was getting was high fives and: “you’re the man.” I don’t even understand that.

After school ended I had walked home… obviously alone. Once I got home my dad was nowhere to be seen he must’ve been out… again. I rolled my eyes and ran up to my room locking the door behind me. I grabbed a pen and my journal and scribbled some thoughts down:

                I don’t get the differences between boys and girls I mean come on it’s all just

                so unfair, I mean am I right? I know I can’t cut or well at least I shouldn’t but that

                was my feeling. My feeling inside me I needed to get out… get rid of, but I couldn’t.

                I’m necessarily not the biggest writer, but sometimes I have to let something off my

                chest. So that’s what I did. I haven’t quite actually found an interest in writing. But I

                knew something that was depending on me was writing… well besides cutting.

                So many people have told me I was pathetic, ugly, anorexic (which I am or at least was),

                annoying, a slut, a whore, creep, etc. All throughout my life these terrible names stuck

                with me for as long as I can remember. And I thought this start in a new school would

                be you know different for once and maybe a chance to make new and more friends,

                but I guess I was wrong. Its like a new start at the beginning of everything again.

After that I threw my journal across the room. I tucked my head into my knees and cried.

*******

I guess I had cried so much I fell asleep. I then was awaken to the ring of my doorbell. I was scared to death that it could be my dad, but I had to go down and check.

“who is it.” I screamed

“uh… Jake” he shouted back

Ugh what is he doing here.

“what do you want?” I asked

“do you think you could let me in or at least open the door?” he mentioned

“oh sure, sorry.” I added

*I slowly opened the door and I let him come in*

“this is your house?” he questioned curiously as he looked around from where he was standing

I knew he was concerned by the big mess of the house with smashed alcohol bottles lying on the floor and the dents in our walls and front door.

“yeah sadly.” I shrugged

“oh I’m sorry I didn’t mean to say it rudely” He commented

“its ok I understand… so what is it that you want exactly like why did you come here?” I asked

He pulled me in unexpectedly for a hug. And he squeezed me so tight. I think he’s so cute, but I had to push him off… so I did. I saw the water being built up in his eyes it started making me tear up.

“are you okay?” I questioned

“oh yeah, I’m sorry” he said wiping his eyes, “I just came over hoping and wondering if you were alright… you know I have been thinking about you all day and yes I was hearing the things people said about you. It’s terrible and I’m so sorry I messed up.”

When I had heard him say this I was motionless… speechless I didn’t know what to do next or what to say. I just felt like kissing him right now. I quickly went in and kissed him on the lips.

“oh my god I am so sorry for doing that I just couldn-“ I struggled to finish

“its ok I have wanting to be able to do that anyways” he interrupted

*******

He then left. Oh great; I thought to myself: “oh great what have I done.”