ONESHOTS [ WDW ]

dorbyn ~ enough

warnings: attempted suicide, mental illness

∞

13. "i hate you so much i love you"
53. "you don't understand, you never do!"
(requested by danieldontwe )

∞

daniel came home to a silent house after a long day at work. he called out the name of his long-term boyfriend, but all he heard was the echo of his name. he forgot again.

the blond man sighed and walked further into the house, dropping his briefcase on the grey couch. he loosened the tie around his neck and undid the top buttons on his dress shirt.

he started up the staircase and pushed open the door to his room at the end of the hallway. his room. it should be their room. as he caught a glimpse of the empty bed with messy sheets, he couldn't help but get lost in the memories. everything about this day was giving him déjà vu.

∞

daniel sighed as he entered his silent home, a bad mood immediately coming over him as he entered the kitchen. he had been home all day, and couldn't even load the dishwasher? he threw his briefcase on the couch and angrily marched up the steps, loosening his tie as he went. "corbyn!" he said loudly, gaining the attention of the small boy wrapped up in the sheets. he paused the youtube video playing on his phone, and rolled over to face the door right as daniel walked through it.

"yes?" he questioned, frowning at the angry look on his boyfriend's face.

"you've been home all day, and you didn't even load the dishwasher?" he crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes.

corbyn sighed and looked down at his hands in his lap. "i'm sorry my love, i haven't been out of bed at all," a tear rolled down his cheek. recently, he had been struggling with mental health issues, which caused him to have to quit his job. he was stressed out, depressed a lot of the time, and didn't even get out of bed some days, because he couldn't bring himself to. he knew it stressed daniel out, because he would have to do almost everything himself, whether it be cooking, cleaning, or paying for them to live. corbyn felt awful that he wasn't helping, but didn't have motivation to go to therapy. how would he ever get better?

daniel's face suddenly softened. "i'm sorry corbs, i'm so inconsiderate."

the boy shook his head. "no, you're absolutely right. i need to help you in some way, no matter how big or small. i promise i'll try harder."

"no, corbyn, it's fine. i know you're struggling and i want you to get better, no matter how hard i have to work," he sat beside the smaller blond and pulled him into a hug.

corbyn pushed him away. "god, i'm so useless! why do you even keep me around? all i do is cause problems." the tears were leaving his eyes rapidly now, as negative thoughts clouded his mind.

"baby i understand you may feel that way, but i don't. i love you, no matter what," daniel responded.

corbyn rolled his eyes and finally stood up from the bed, lightheadedness hitting him like a train due to not having eaten that day. "oh my god daniel, you don't understand, you never do! no matter how hard you try, you. will. never. understand," he glared at his boyfriend as he grabbed his wallet and headed out the door.

this left daniel sitting on their bed, with tears in his eyes, staring longingly after his lover.

∞

daniel snapped out of his thoughts as he sat once again on their bed, tears clouding his vision. he missed him. everything about him, from the fights, to the laughs. he needed corbyn. he needed him terribly. he laid back to try and take a nap before he cooked for himself, but another flashback took over his mind.

∞

he laid in the hospital with bandages wrapped around his wrists. his lifeless body was pale and skinny, from lack of nutrients and sunlight. the doctor came into the room.

"i'm afraid it's not looking good. corbyn lost a lot of blood, more than usual as the type of pills he overdosed on made his blood thinner," she frowned down at her notes, looking sympathetically at daniel. "if you have any last words for him, i would say them now before it's too late." she left the room again.

daniel let out a shaky breath as he approached his lifeless boyfriend's hospital bed. the amount of wires and iv's hooked up to him made daniel sick, and it hadn't yet registered in his mind that soon he might be gone. he took corbyn's cold hand in his own, and opened his mouth. no sound.

he swallowed and tried again. "what happened? what the hell happened to us corbyn? one moment, we were happy, and in love, and knew what we wanted. and the next, you were spiralling out of control, an empty pit with no emotions other than sadness. you didn't want to hold my hand anymore, you didn't want to kiss me, or go on dates. you didn't know what you wanted anymore. i can't even count the amount of times you broke up with me for no reason. was i not good enough? i loved you through everything, i always came back when you asked me to. and this is how you repay me? by leaving me? i know you weren't always happy, but i thought i was a good enough reason for you to hold on. i want to hate you. for treating me so terribly. and maybe i do. i hate you so much i love you." by this point the skinny boy was sobbing into his hands, while corbyn's lay forgotten on the bed. "how could you do this to me? i gave you everything you wanted. how was it not enough. why was i not enough?"

the boy broke down next to his bed, praying that he would wake up again.

∞

clowning🥴 i made myself sad with this one

word count: 1003