Between the Cross and the Flame

Chapter 18: Chaya

Chaya knew that look in Haniel's eyes when the soccer player stormed out of the conference room. A pinprick of guilt ate away at his heart, realizing that Haniel was right; they were handing some angels over to be killed. He looked to Leviathan, and the archdemon's face softened, seeing the lines in Chaya's forehead.

"I was too harsh too fast," Leviathan admitted. "I'll talk to him tomorrow, once he's calmed down. Go to him for now."

"Thank you, Sir."

Mavet and Del promised to meet him in the mess hall for dinner, then Chaya ran through the cave, thankfully having memorized the majority of the main passageways by now. He knew exactly where Haniel had run off to. Chaya slowed his pace when he approached the barracks, not wanting to scare his friend. He listened hard, but heard nothing, only a depressing silence. Chaya peeked his head around the corner, and his heart sank at the sight.

Haniel was staring at Irvin's phone, eyes glazed over, knuckles bruised and bloodied. The phone screen was dark, but Haniel didn't seem to notice. Chaya could feel the pain radiating from the soccer player, even from a good distance away. The familiar heavy feeling in his chest returned. Chaya controlled his breathing until the sensation dispersed. He had to be strong for Haniel, if just for a moment, and afterward he could deal with his own emotions. Chaya took a deep breath, then stepped inside the barracks.

"Haniel?"

The soccer player suddenly turned away. "Please, don't look at me right now. I don't want you to have to deal with me."

"Haniel, Leviathan didn't mean to be so harsh, he just wanted you to understand- "

"That we're being indirect murderers? That we're handing over souls to the Council without giving a crap about what they do with them?" Haniel's biceps tensed. "No, I don't want that. I'm not messing up even more lives than I already have."

Chaya sharply inhaled. "What?"

Haniel's shoulders went rigid. "I- Nevermind. It's nothing."

"No, it's not." Chaya stepped closer to Haniel. "I think I know what's happening. You're worried that you've gotten us into another bad situation, haven't you?" Haniel didn't respond, giving Chaya his answer. "You haven't done anything wrong, Haniel. We wanted answers, and you've gotten us closer than we ever would have been without your judgement. At some point, you have to realize that it's not all on you if something goes wrong."

"But it is on me!" Haniel protested, suddenly getting to his feet. Chaya could see the hurt in his eyes, pulling at his facial features, physically dragging his body down. It broke his heart. "I'm the one that pushed for us to take a huge risk, and now look what it's doing! You and Mavet are no closer to unlocking your pasts, Del is missing her record-breaking cross country season, as well as a million other things that she's good at, and Irvin is unable to keep up with the schoolwork that he struggles with on a normal day! How is it not my fault?"

"Because you didn't ask for this," Chaya said. "You didn't even take into account what this is doing to you. You're finally a team captain, and Del told me how important the second half of the season is, leading up to the State Tournament. You aren't able to see Cooper, you left in the middle of a huge family blow-up, and Homecoming sort of got ruined. Haniel, you gave up everything to help figure out Mavet's and I's pasts, so no, you're the only one who can't be blamed. You didn't ask for two supernatural amnesiacs to show up at your doorstep."

Haniel slumped back onto his bed, defeat hunching his posture. "But I'm the one who decided not to turn back when we had the option."

"And you're not the only one who wanted to continue," Chaya reminded him. He finally made it to Haniel's side, tentatively wrapping an arm around the soccer player. "Del, Irvin, Mavet, me, we all wanted this. We individually decided to take the risk, and so far, nothing bad has happened other than a blow up between Del and Julia. That's pretty good, considering we got blown out of the sky a little over a week ago."