protecting you no matter what - seungchan (stray kids)

13.

What Seungmin was the most excited for was leaving the hospital. The mushy hospital food was tiring to force himself to eat.

What he was the least excited for was going to therapy.

He had never done it before, but he's going to have to expose all his secrets and he's probably going to cry and get sent to a mental hospital.

But they said you could bring one person, and he chose Chan.

~
"Hi, Seungmin. Is this Chan?" A black haired female wearing a white suit asked kindly. Seungmin nodded. She was the therapist that came in for questioning when Seungmin first got hospitalised.

The two of them sat down in front of her. Seungmin looked down, overwhelmed, grabbing the ends of the chair and kicking his legs back and forth against the cold, hard dark oak wooden floor.

Seungmin felt a hand brush against his. Chan tangled his hand with Seungmin's and held it in his, giving him an assuring smile.

" So, Seungmin, I'd like to get to know you a little more. What do you like to do?"

"...draw,"

" Can I see your drawings then?"

"...okay,"

Seungmin whipped out his phone to show her the best of his artworks. Some of them were illustrations in his art style, some realism, some were meaningful abstracts, one was even a realistic artwork of all his friends.

The therapist was impressed, Seungmin could tell from her face. He didn't expect what he heard next.

"Draw me what you feel,"

Oh darn.

"Just draw anything you feel. Anything that comes to mind. Neither of us will judge. You can do it at the waiting room outside, I need to talk to Chan,"

Frick.

"You can take this paper and pencil that I have. Is that good?"

No.

"Yeah,"

"Great! I'll see you later," the therapist said, giving a warm smile. Seungmin grabbed the paper and pencil and left.

Seungmin plopped onto the couch outside and nibbled his fingers. Honestly, the paper was too printer-paper thin and the pencil was too cheap for him, but he could work something out.

Anything?

Welp, there was no running now. The only option he had was to spill the tea.

~

"So. Chan, what's Seungmin like?"

"Uhm, how do I-" Chan's eyes darted in search for an answer as he gritted his teeth.

"He always seemed kinda distant? And he seemed so quiet, it was kinda disturbing. If you really looked at him, you could see he was hurting but it wasn't obvious. He didn't even smile,"

Chan swallowed the lump forming in his throat, but the tears came out anyway. The therapist grabbed a tissue nearby and passed it to him. Chan folded the tissue neatly and dabbed it under his eyes.

" Until I started talking to him, I never knew it was such a big issue, and he still doesn't talk to me and I keep telling him to tell me what's going on but he doesnt-"

Chan stopped himself abruptly. The therapist understood it as a signal to stop and said," Thanks Chan, don't worry, I promise to help him, "and smiled.

Chan hoped that was true.

~
" Seungmin! You can come in if you're done! " the therapist called out. Seungmin was done, and he hoped that it was good because it was just an illustration he did in the short of time, so he grabbed his paper and pencil and walked in.

He sat beside Chan and immediately noticed that Chan had tear stains on his face. Thinking to himself that he would question it later, Seungmin grabbed Chan's hand and laid his head on Chan's broad shoulder.

Luckily, neither of them noticed the blush on each others' faces.

"Can I see what you drew, Seungmin?" the therapist asked and Seungmin presented his art.

A...black room. A character in the middle of it. Standing alone. But something's in the shadows. Watching him. Talking to him.

The character's in a box with the shadow. There were things down there, below the box. Leaving no room.

No air to breathe.

"Can you explain it?"

Seungmin nodded and sucked in a deep breath.

No more running.

" There is... Someone telling me stuff, in my head. What to do. Who I am. What I am to other people. How much of a burden I am to other people,"

Seungmin held back his tears.

"And... Everywhere I go, I just cause a problem. Even at home. My father hates me. He just drinks and beats me up and tells me that I'm nothing and starves me -"

Seungmin was cut short by Chan pulling him onto his lap and shoving his face into his chest. Seungmin looked up to face Chan with teary eyes and snuggled his face deeper into his chest.

The therapist understandingly nodded to let Seungmin know he can continue whenever he feels comfortable.

" I felt so sad... Worthless... Useless... The voice in my head wasn't...helping..."

"I had to take it out so I did... It,"

"When I came to university and met Jisung and had friends for once it all felt so different and it was so... scary. But Chan helped it all get better,"

Seungmin ended and snuggled his face back into Chans chest.

The therapist nodded and gathered her documents.
" I think we can end this session today. Don't forget to come in on Monday. Bye, " the therapist said with a warm smile and bade goodbye.

Once the door closed, Seungmin turned to Chan to meet a stone cold face he wasn't familiar with.

"Channie..."

Chan was unresponsive.

"Did I do something wrong... Channie?"

Seungmin was terrified.

You idiot.

Seungmin got cut off his pleads with Chan's voice.

"You were going through...so much... But you didn't tell anyone?"

Seungmin froze.

Chan's fists curled.

"Your f**king dad doesn't deserve to be alive while he's walking around swinging booze bottles knowing he almost killed his son,"

Seungmin was shocked. He had never seen Chan snap before.

"That...man better get caught soon," Chan said.

Seungmin nodded, gulping.

Chan kissed Seungmin gently, his hands on Seungmin's waist. Seungmin melted into the kiss and wrapped his arms around Chan's neck.

The two of them soon headed back to Seungmin's ward.

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Yeehaw