Always bickering, always pissing off each other, truthful rivals. Even though they were team mates, friend and cared for each other that way, Kageyama and Hinata would always pick a fight over the most simple and stupid things. When they were face to face out of the court it was really hard to act natural, open up and be sincere.
For Hinata, it was Kageyama's way of looking at him like he was superior in every way possible. It made him nervous since every attempt of approaching the boy was quickly cut off by him and Hinata had no idea of what was his problem. Kageyama was an introverted boy, but Hinata thought he would at least try and open up to his team mates, his friends, since he was so changed on court and finally learned what 'team' means.
However, Hinata had other hidden desires that he himself tried to shut down every time they threatened to surface. He wanted Kageyama as a friend, a close friend, someone he could trust his fears further than volleyball, but since he started to look at Kageyama from another perspective that feeling changed to something deeper, more powerful, something that affected him physically and mentally. Every time Kageyama was too close his insides would twitch and turn and his knees would start trembling. Not to talk about how many times he blushed because of Kageyama. More than once they collided while arguing, Kageyama pinning the boy to some wall, Hinata climbing over Kageyama on the floor just to yell at him, both grabbing, punching or just staying so close like they needed to make sure the other's attention was completely on the words he had to say. It was always too much for him and Hinata would need to disappear 10 minutes at least to calm down, his mind turbid and his heart ready to crack his ribcage and jump out. But lately his eyes would fly to his friend's lips from time to time making it hard to concentrate on a conversation; sometimes he thought about grabbing the other's hand just to feel how their fingers would feel intertwined; then it was Kageyama's eyes that would shine in that way, get darker or brighter, they would stare into Hinata's for a little too long filling the boy's guts with a bubble-like feeling. Seeing Kageyama shirtless while changing was even harder for him, his body would respond to it too freaking easily, which was another problem itself when it comes to concealing it all.
For Kageyama, however, the problem was the fact that he wanted to open up to Hinata, but he simply wasn't able to. His mind would block every emotion when he was face to face to Hinata and that made him feel like a coward. I can't even have a freaking conversation with him without insulting him. He was unable to stop his mouth from speaking words he didn't mean when Hinata's eyes would make his nerves turn crazy and his mind freeze, every rational though shut down by a confusing dark cloud. It was so hard to concentrate on controlling his behavior than he didn't, burying the guilt deep down and admitting that he was a jerk to the shorter even if it wasn't his intention (most of the time). It was much easier to deal with the rest of the team – excepting Tsukishima since that guy was a pain in the ass – and the boy had no idea how to pretend anymore, how to act like everything was perfectly fine when he himself was a mess inside out.
However, seeing how the Hinata would always respond to him the same way it hurt a little. Kageyama was seriously wondering if Hinata saw him as a friend, a team mate at least, someone important. Yes, they were really close on court, always coordinated and knew exactly what the other was thinking in each moment, almost reading each other's minds by only locking eyes. But outside it was completely the opposite and Kageyama was going nuts due to his own chaotic feelings – ones he didn't understand yet –; the strange effect Hinata had on him without Kageyama being able to manage it; the tension between them that grew to a point it took Kageyama everything not to lose his mind in many occasions. More than once he noticed how flustered Hinata seemed to get sometimes, blushing up and stuttering and running away, but other times Kageyama felt like the boy didn't even notice he was there, like he was invisible or like he wasn't wanted.
