Speak Softly, Love

Chapter 12: Conviction

May 25, 1939

     Husband and wife sat in front of the man whose face was lit by a dark, dying light. Lines and shadows contoured the wrinkles and ridges of skin, slices of what resembled the color of dimmed flesh. The left side was a blur of strong browns and blacks and he saw a faint form of a person he failed to recognize. Beady eyes dug into him, the whites muddled into grays and noir, and featured a small speck of highlight, smaller than a grain of sand. 

     He felt all the displeasure and indignation that was thrown by his father's gaze. He felt all this yet still remained unmoving, corpselike, and lifeless. His mouth was parched dry and he had no more voice. His hands, stiff, and he could not touch. His mind, for the first time, blank and clear and full of nothingness. He could no longer think.

     She was right next to him but her sniffles seemed as if they were a mere whisper that echoed from the corners of the room. Her slurred protests and defenses and excuses were muffled by the absence of everything, a void of solidarity that confined him to the chair, to the house. His eyes were downcast, focused on the light that bounced from the precious band on his father's finger to the ring that cuffed his own.

     The man's voice arose from his throat and was full of a bubbling kind of anger, one suppressed and restrained. Words left his mouth in a slow, sharp manner that was meant to pierce through him in the same way one would slide a dagger sadistically into flesh— to draw out the immense pain. To make one wish for a quicker death, as their body no longer fought and their mind blackened and blackened. His vision blurred.

     "Is it true, Adrien?"

     He sat lifeless. The man narrowed his eyes.

     "This is the most repulsive thing you could have done. Do you think marriage is a joke? Is that why you felt the need to spit all over it? Does it excite you?"

     No reply came. The man continued.

     "You dare bring that girl here, in my house, with no shame? You really think I wouldn't find out? Did you really believe I was that stupid?"

     Lila let out a cry and he heard it as if his head were submerged in water. It was hollow and flew over his head, lost and gone in the air. The man continued anyway:

     "Are you satisfied now? Were you going to run away and abandon all your responsibilities here? Don't you see how ridiculous that is?" 

     He wished that he would pull out the blade. He wanted nothing more than to bleed out there and feel relieved to receive an answer that ended suffering, an answer he had been pursuing with his entire being. It was them who pushed him to this point, who made him crave and yearn so longingly. It was them who lied to him, who deceived him. It was they who punished their own volatile creation. But, he felt the inevitable guilt seep in and his mind went blank once more, except for the numbed sensation of pounding.

     "I do not want to see that girl near this house ever again. You will stop all this foolishness at once. I will have someone monitor your every step. Nathalie will follow your every move. We can solve this quietly, or you can continue until you inform the whole town of your infidelity. That is the same as disowning yourself from this family."

     The light flickered and the ring no longer shone, blurring with the murky shadows. Gabriel Agreste became shrouded in nothingness and his voice derived from the void and abyss, coming from nowhere yet everywhere at the same time.

     He was scared. But, he couldn't feel a thing. 

     "Do you understand?" He demanded.

     And without a restless second in between he replied:

     "Yes, father."