BREEZES- Living in my own world

HOW I MET MY SOULMATE

Warning : Crack drabble, pls proceed after keeping your mind with me for safe keeping.

Pls note to collect your brain afterwards, I won't be responsible for its loss.

Enjoy!

Scene : A handsome boy is sitting crouched in a small hut with his head resting on his knees in defeat. The place is surrounded by big burly men with spear in their hands guarding him.

I see all this from my hiding place behind the bush. As soon as the big taklu(bald) uncle moves from my sight, I Stealthily walk to the small window.

Me(still hiding) : "psst, psst hello, yellow, handsome fellow"

The handsome guy whose I could see the 34-29-36 figure(yes guys, I checked him out and I am very accurate regarding measurements *rolls my eyes*) looks at me with his wide brown chocolatey (yummm) eyes.

Cue song: tune maari entry Yaar, Dil Mai baji ghanti Yaar, tan tan tan

At this time, my mind went into overdrive "haayyyeee!!!! Kitna Sona Munda hai, thank you so much bhagwanji, aap toh great hai, maina issbaar double party dungi aapko, 10kg Ka laddoo chadaungi and don't worry, Apke friends bhi invited hai, share karke Khana Varna gala kharab ho jayega...mereko mere pyaar se milane Ka kya plan banaya hai, mughe forest Mai ghum karke Apne toh meri setting kardi. Ekdum dhinchak love story banegi"

After bribin.. ahem praying to my bhagwanji, I saw that the idiot small- brained-pug-faced uncles(mum has taught me respect elders) had kidnapped my beloved who was now having an adorable pout on his face.

"HOW DARE these fat belly uncles looking like they are 6 months pregnant hurt my LOVE!!! Don't they know that he is mine and therefore completely untouchable. Abhi batati hu Inn sabko...wait meri Jaan, Mai tumhe bachaungi"

I take out my secret weapon aka AK-47(you never know when you will need to shoot someone) and go to them.

"Hello uncle" giving my rasgulla dripping smile, I ask "kaise ho app?"

The fat belly uncle grins evilly, looking like his face has been hit with a truck and then repeatedly smashed with a bat "ek aur Bakra mil Gaya, oyee, pakdon isse.... boss kush hojayenge, ladke k Saath ladki free."

I point my precious (AK-47) to them "kya uncles, yahan sale thodi na chalrahi hai k ek k Saath dusra free"

"And waise *clears my throat* HOW DARE YOU KIDNAP MY LOVE, MAI ABHI TAK SINGLE ISLIYE NAHI RAHI K SHAADI HONE SE PEHLE MERE PATI KO TAPKADO. MERE 24 YEARS KI MEHNAT PANI MAI JAATI YOU IDIOTS....AND SINCE I DON'T BELIEVE IN "FORGIVE AND FORGET" I AM GONNA KILL YOU ALL" and I launch myself on them with a battlecry.

Fat belly uncle : "Arey Jaan bachake bhaago sab!!! This girl is crazy, she is going to KILL EVERYONE...RUNNNN"

"Hawww uncle, Aapne mughe mad Kahan?(smirking devilishly) vo toh Mai bachhpan se hi, too bad you found it out now" and runs behind them with my gun

Background music : Bachhna ayy haseeno, lo Mai aa gayi...

1hr later( after transporting all the pug-faced-pea-brained uncles to saturn)

"Heyy love, Are you okay?" I keep my voice soft(don't want him to die with shock)

"Lo..lo..love?"

My mind - "Awwww!!! He is shoo cute(looking up) thank you so much bhagwanji, and don't worry I will take care of him, this handsome Munda is definitely mine (Smirking)

The guy gulps seeing the scary expression on my face and mentally starts chanting Hanuman chalisa "Tu..tum upar kyu Dekh rahi ho aur ye lo..love main hai"

"Hawww! Of course tum ho mere LOVE, Mai the kya aisi waisi ladki dikhthi hu Jo aate jaate ladko ko LOVE Bulau Huh?" I cross my hands and glare at him

The boy scampers back and hurriedly explains "Nahi, Nahi Mera MATLAB vo Nahi tha, hum toh just mile hai na toh how can I be your lo..love?" He asks with an innocent I-want-to-pinch-his-cheeks cute expression.

I smile at him and school my expression into an innocent one(I think I scared him more with it)

"Tum aisa kaise bol sakte ho, kya Mai tumhe idiot Lagti hu Jo Apne pyaar ko Nahi pehchan Sakti? Arey Maine Tumhari Jaan bachayi, tumhare liye ho fat-bellied uncles ko Saturn bheja, apni Jaan daav p lagayi and this is how you behave with me? By saying that my love is fake?" With Tears start welling up on my eyes, I raise my hands to the sky

"HEY MAA MATAJI!!! Yahi din dekhneko baaki reh Gaya tha ab. Sachhe pyaar ki koyi kadar hi Nahi hai, arey jissey pyaar Kiya vahi mughpe Shaq karraha hai. Sachme kalyug hai ye kalyug (cries loudly) Khun bhagwan kun? Kya Kami reh gayi thi mere prayers Mai k Mera pyaar hi mughe pehchaan ne ko mana karraha hai(sniffs).

Bhagwanji watches this from his castle and rolls his eyes - "mere bhakto main sabse badi drama queen hai tu, uss ladke p bhi dhyaan rakhna padega Varna ek hi din Mai issey yeh toh mental hospital pahuncha degi"

The boy starts panicking as he sees me crying "SORRY SORRY! Pls pls Rona band karunga, tum Jo bologi vo Mai karunga

I stop crying and gives him my best puppy look "Sacchhi?Promise? So can I call you LOVE?"

"Ah..um..ah" he trys to backtrack a little but stops when I start wailing loudly in a voice worse than a braying donkey (heyy it's a talent, not everybody is gifted *shrugs*)

The boy panics and nod his head vigorously (see, talent) "PROMISE PROMISE, tumhe baby, jaanu, Shona, Babu Jo bulana hai bulao but pls in the name of all that is holy stop crying, my ears can't take it anymore, mughe Apne eardrums ko bye bye Nahi Karna"

Mind music - Dil dhak dhak Karne laga...

"Awww, you are so adorable, thanks jaanu(kisses him on cheek)

The boy stares at me dumbstruck

"Yeh toh bas shuruat hai meri JAAN, aage aage dekho hota hai kya!"

Welcome to my world LOVE" (Smirking)

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So how did you enjoy my love story? (My LOVE is so cute na? Hands off ladies cuz he's mine and anyone who doesn't listen to me will personally get acquainted with my precious *you remember na*)

Till I make my LOVE fall in Love with me

Tata

Your crazy writer
Sharanya