Poesis

The Demons Inside

She was a happy kid.
She always had a smile on her face,
always walked with a spring in her step,
always the darling of the crowd,
always the apple of her parents eyes
but in a blink of an eye, everything changed.

The happiness became sadness,
the smile on her face became a frown,
the spring on her step became heavy footsteps,
the friends she came to know slowly disappeared,
the attention of her parents were no longer for her.
All the while, she stood still, begging for a hand to hold.

She was broken, lost when someone finally heed her call.
She thought that she could go back to her happy, old days
but the voices told her things that pulled her down to a deeper abyss.

They told her that she was not enough,
that she's a huge failure,
that she's a disappointment.
that she's not worthy of anyone,
that no one cares for her,
that no one will truly love her for who she is.

In the middle of the night,
she chokes up on her own tears
and shuts her mouth as she sobs quietly.

In the middle of a busy day,
when she can't hold back her tears anymore,
she locks herself in the restroom
and comes out with a perfect smile.

The urge to hurt herself was strong.
She thought pain could take away her thoughts.
A silent war went inside her head.
She convinced herself to be strong
while her thoughts bring her down to her knees.

She saw herself crumble down,
as she asked herself where she went wrong.
She owns her thoughts, she realized.
She's much bigger than anything that she's facing.
She lost who she was
but this time, she will find out who she really wants to be.