The kool aid family drama

Blood dripped from the cracks in the ceiling. Years had gone by, and the house was decrepit, the wood unfinished and the walls were decaying with mold. The floorboards creaked with age, and the pictures hanging on the mantel had long ago faded. In the hazed moonlit night, the young man's body was just visible. The question of how he got there still remains unknown.

Bruce had always wondered about the screams that emerged from deep within the curious house. He often voiced his concerns to his fiancee Cordelia, who had always seemed to be able to wave away his deepest worries. Bruce never could put his finger on why the relic felt so eerie. Was it the dismal appearance of the dark, miserable brick walls? Or perhaps it was what had happened there so long ago.Then one day Bruce realized why his fiancee always waved away his concerns. Bruce was hiding in the kitchen from his fiancee because she only lets him drink Kool-Aid. Although, little did Bruce know, is that once he took a sip of his diet pepsi, he would summon it. The evil myth known by many that would ruin drinking for ages to come. As he opened his drink and took a sip he heard creeks throughout the house. The house shook harder and harder as the sound of heavy footsteps came his way. He lifted his head to the sound of 'OOOOYYYAAAAA," oh my god. It was the Kool-Aid pitcher man. His life was a lie....Cordelia was the Kool-Aid man. The Kool-Aid man then proceeded in giving Bruce a spot in his next commercial. And that is how Bruce became a TV star. Then he started creating advertisements for Moe's. He got into the food cooperation and started his own line of burritos.

Bruce was becoming a very big name in the burrito business. He started his own line of tacos and nachos as well. Then he got into smoothies. Bruce was making millions of dollars every minute. Eventually he became so big that his company was more successful than Kool-Aid. Cordelia was furious. Bruce had overshadowed her Kool-Aid business and she came back with the intent to kill him. DUN DUN DUN!!!!

Since Bruce had gained so much popularity, Cordelia had no problem finding him. Unfortunately, Bruce had amped up the security since he started making so much money. He had many stunt doubles that looked exactly like him. Cordelia didn't know how she would determine who the real Bruce was.

Cordelia decided to go with her gut. She knew Bruce wasn't fat, so that eliminated the one, rather pudgy looking "Bruce". After that she was able to eliminate another Bruce, turned out he was more of a she. Then she was able to eliminate about five other "Bruce's" that looked slightly different than the real Bruce. She decided to go with her gut, and that night, when Bruce was asleep, she crept in and kidnapped him. She then proceeded in taking Bruce into an abandoned house in the woods. There, she morphed into the Kool-Aid man and drowned Bruce. It was red Kool-Aid, so it resembled blood. Then Cordelia left the house, feeling quite accomplished.

Unfortunately, to her dismay, Cordelia discovered she had accidently killed Bruce's identical twin brother. It turned out that the real Bruce was the slightly pudgy one she had eliminated first. Bruce had gained fifty pound during the creation of his burrito, taco, and nacho lines. Cordelia was desperate to seek revenge against Bruce.

Bruce was launching a new taquito later that day. She would have to sneak in to his celebratory candy corn themed party that would happen afterwards, without being detected. She decided that the best thing to do would be to go disguised as Capri Sun. Bruce would never expect her dressed as her most sacred enemy and crazy ex-lover.

It was later that night, and Cordelia was getting into her juice box outfit. Suddenly, in a poof of smoke, Robin appeared out of nowhere in his terrible sidekick costume. "Robin!" Cordelia yelled. She ran at him with her punch ladle and sugar packets. She threw the sugars in his eyes, blinding him, then scooped the eyeballs out with her giant spoon.

"HHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" she yelled. "No! Not my eyes. I like them a lot," Robin said. She glued the eyeballs to a pair of glasses and used them as a part of her disguise.

She got into the party easily, apparently Bruce had gotten fat and had sunk so low he would invite Capri Sun. "That fat bitch," she thought. He was not going to get away with this. She stomped into the party, angrily grabbing a new taquito and biting into it. Just as she thought, DISgustang. She made her way down the hall. Sneaking away from the party. She knew where Bruce's room was in his giant mansion. She's been here several times before after the divorce and had secretly stolen his hair so she could clone him.

She found him in his room, but he wasn't ALONE! It was batman! Bruce had gotten so fat he couldn't be batman anymore, so he got his grandma to do it for him. Wow, he had really gotten FAT! He was so fat that he was passed the weight limit to qualify for TLC's hit show "my 600lb life." And he was still eating his taquito. Why had he gotten all the money from the divorce? She should be the one lying pathetic on the bed, eating her feelings and getting fat. It was so unfair!

Out of nowhere the real Capri Sun broke into the room, turns out the capri sun is his new girlfriend. "You whore!" she cried, throwing old condoms at both of them. "I broke up with you Kool-Aid, for a reason. You're a dirty slut who has a juice fetish!" Turning to Bruce she yells "And Bruce, I hate your fat ass too." All of a sudden, Bruce stands up. "I'm not Bruce anymore." He unzipped the skin he purchased off the dark net for a low price of only $9.99+shipping, to reveal his true identity. The juices screamed.

"Hawaiian Punch!" Capri Sun fainted, Kool-Aid man didn't know what to feel. How could her Bruce keep something so sinister from her. "You son of a bitch!" she cried, slapping him. "You're my long-lost twin brother!!!"

"That's right." Bruce/Hawaiian Punch said. "We were poured from the same manufacturers but I still love you the same. When I found out you were Kool-Aid man I couldn't take my feelings. I still wanted you, only you. I tried leaving but it was no use. I want to marry you, and then have little baby juice boxes with you. We could create the greatest flavors in the world."

"I thought you truly loved me but its just for the power isn't it!!??" Kool-Aid man said. "I mean it was but this kinda seems like some fifty shades of grey scenario and I ain't into that so you after I kill you, I'm just, you know, gonna blast."

"NO. I won't let you," said the punch. He grabbed the Kool-Aid man and twirled him around. "I want to be with you." Hot, fruit punch tears were streaming from his eyes. "If I can't have you and mix our flavors to create the bestest juice ever, no one can." With that he tipped the Kool-Aid man over, draining him of his life force drop by drop. "You ass-hole, I'm telling mom!" was all Cordelia could say before the Kool-Aid man's eyes glazed over.

"You wouldn't dare!" said Hawaiian Punch. Although it was too late. Their mom Sprite Cranberry entered the room.

"What the hell are you doing?" Sprite Cranberry asked. "I go on a vacation with Coke one time and come back to see my son trying to seduce then murder my daughter. I mean, come on, this is beyond unfair. I get a call just when we were about to get couple's messages looking out to the ocean. You're both grounded."

"Wait why me?" said Kool-Aid man. "Because your a disappointment" said Sprite Cranberry. "Actually I have a better idea, you guys are going to summer camp." But little did they know, it was an Illuminati Camp.That night they were forced back into their human form and put on buses not knowing where they were going and for how long they were going to camp. "Why us?" they all grumbled to each other. "Because you didn't subscribe to pewdiepie instead of Tseries."