Happy

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I'm happy. I'm always happy. Even on a rainy day I still find the joy in watching the tiny raindrops on the window race to the bottom. And for some odd reason everyone started acting weird toward me because of it. I don't get why though. Being happy is such a nice feeling. Sometimes I wonder if I could still be this happy when I die...

I had to walk to school again, because daddy had passed out on the couch again with the television on! Mommy still hasn't gotten back from the 'business' she had to attend to last night. My 2 brothers and sister had already left without me and they took the car, so I had to walk. Did I feel sad they didn't wake me up? Of course not! Maybe they just forgot. I got to school 20 minutes late and the teacher yelled at me for being tardy and I had to stay in during lunch and all the kids laughed at me. Yet my smile never faltered, as I walked up to my seat at the back of the class. I tripped a little on a kid's foot, but I think they just did that as a joke. Class flew by and it was almost time for lunch. I was staring out the window, most likely not paying attention to the teacher when I felt something hit my head. I jumped out of my daydream and looked at the scrunched-up paper in front me and looked for the source of the paper. My eyes stopped at a familiar table that belonged to the girls who were definitely going to get dress-coded and looked as if their skin were made of plastic and were wearing wigs. They snickered as they whispered to each other looking back at me and then whispering again. I looked curiously at the paper and read; "Why were you late? Mommy and Daddy not love you enough to drop you to school?". Ouch. My heart felt a sharp tang, it had not felt before. I felt my mouth quiver and my face lit up. The girls all gave me nasty snares, but I decided to be the better person and give them a bright big smile. They looked at me with either a disgusted or perplexed expression, then turned away. I never let my smile falter. Never. It the one thing my mommy said she loved before she got so busy with all the 'businesses' and then never had time for me again...

The bell for lunch had rang as I was approaching the lockers I suddenly got pushed against the lockers and stared into emerald green eyes. "Well, if it isn't little miss perfect with her ever-lasting, infuriating smile," said a boy I can't recall by name. He let me go and dragged me all the way across to an empty room, his girlfriend and their minions following them. They pushed me in and immediately a girl with light brown hair and blue eyes started pulling my hair. I definitely felt a tug, but my positive attitude remains, and my smile doesn't falter. They then started beating me up, but I didn't mind. They were probably just playing. I wasn't affected. Until the verbal hits. Quotes such as "I bet your mum and dad hate you", "Your siblings don't even like you. They hate you. Everyone knows that" and "You're just a slut, just like your mum", these hurt more than the bruises and cuts. I felt my eyes well up with tears and my face was becoming hot again. Judging by the smirks on their faces, I would wager my smile's been wiped off. My breathing became heavy and my heart aches more than my body. I'm becoming less happy by the second. My smile. The smile that mommy once loved so dearly. Its fading away. But it couldn't! I pushed them all off me with strength that they and I myself hadn't expected. I rushed out of the room, grabbed my back and dashed to the girl's bathroom. I could hear their footsteps leading away from the bathroom and I sighed in relief. I rummaged through my bag, searching frantically for what I needed. I emptied out my whole bag until I found them. Happy Pills. I shoved 3 down my throat and drank some water, clearly over-dosing. I waited for 7 minutes and my emotions remained sad, confused, hurt, but not happy. I had another 4, until I finally felt that sweet tingly feeling of the pills. My eyes sparkled more, and my heart was beating happily again. I felt happy again. But my smile was not plastered across my face. Confused I took 2 more pills until my smile had come across. It looked a little wrong as it was too wide for my eyes, but I was happy again. I noticed my arm bleeding from my cuts, but honestly, I couldn't care less. I wrapped them up with toilet and covered them with my sleeve and my jacket. It stung a little, but I'd do anything to keep my smile my mommy loved so dearly...

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