Pagtingin (One Shot)

Pagtingin

DISCLAIMER:

This is a work of fiction. Any names, characters, places, businesses, events, incidents and etc. are products of imagination by the author for fictitious use.

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"Hindi ba talaga kayo mag jowa?" Tanong sa amin ng kaibigan ko habang nasa inuman kami.

Natawa lamang si Kyle at hinigpitan ang pagkaka-akbay sa akin. "Ano ba kayo? Halos tatlong taon na at pa-graduating na tayo ng kolehiyo pero ganyan pa rin tanungan niyo!" 

He looked at me at lightly patted my head. "Mahal na mahal ko 'tong si Gillian kaya nga bestfriend ko 'to eh!"

Umiwas ako ng tingin pero naglabas ako ng pekeng tawa para hindi nila mahalata na nasasaktan ako. Bestfriend, oo nga..Bestfriend ako ni Kyle pero hanggang ganun na lang ba talaga?

"Pero bagay kayo, try niyo kaya?" Pagpupuna ng kaibigan namin. Tumingin ako sakaniya at pinanlakihan siya ng mata. Kinuha ko na 'yong basa para ako na ang uminom kahit hindi pa talaga ito dapat para sa akin para kumalma ako.

Binubugaw nanaman nila ako, tatlong taon na pambubugaw pero ganun pa rin ang sagot. I always tried telling him what I feel pero kung kelan ako magkaka lakas ng loob para sabihin iyon ay may bago nanaman siyang nililigawan.

Natatakot rin ako dahil baka masira ang pagkakaibigan namin ni Kyle kung ilalahad ko yung pagtingin ko sakanya. Our friendship was much more important than my mere feelings.

But what if I make a move? We were already graduating in college this year pero for all those years, I didn't do anything or I couldn't anything other than being his "bestfriend"

Humalakhak naman si Kyle. "Parang mga tanga 'to! Ewan ko talaga sa inyo." Sambit niya at umiling iling pa. "Sira sisbro code kung ganiyan. Oo nga pala, nililigawan ko si Queenie! Shet!"

I pursed my lips as he said those words. I was right, whenever I felt I should be making a move kung hindi ay mahuhuli ako ay may bago nanaman siyang nililigawan.

How foolish of me to think that I'd finally make a move.

"Congrats!" I said in the most cheerful tone I could to mask the pain I was dealing. 

Our friends looked at me worryingly but I gave them a look telling them that I was used to it. Nevertheless, they congratulated him.

Tumingala na lamang ako sa langit at dinama ang malamig na simoy ng hangin na nagmumula sa karagatan. Liquor was filling me up as the music filled up the area. May mga taong nakapaligid but I feel so lonely.

Almost everyone I knew is already with the love of their lives, even Kyle is courting Queenie, but I'm here..Natatakot pa rin na umamin sa nararamdaman ko.

"Kami na ni Queenie!" He enthusiastically said to me and hugged me tight. 

I tried to retain my tears from flowing down, I thought I wouldn't mind just like how I always told myself. Dapat sanay na ako sa ganito eh, ano naman kung may bago nanaman siyang jowa diba? I have to be happy for him as his bestfriend.

"Oh?" I said trying to hide the pain in my voice. "Congrats 'tol!" Tumawa pa ako para mas lalong hindi niya mahalata na nasasaktan ako.

"Date tayo ha?" Biglang sambit niya. I raised an eyebrow in confusion, what? A date? He must be joking, may jowa na siya for heaven's sake!

"What?" I said in disbelief. 

"Sabi ko kay Queenie na mag d-date tayong tatlo para maging close mo rin siya. I swear, she's the best girl!" I saw the glimmer in his eyes as he said that. Maybe he was indeed in love with that woman.