Essence Chronicles Book One a New Age

Awakening (Aludin)

     The darkness surrounding my vision was pierced by a red searing pain.  Was I asleep? Why would that be the case? Perhaps I was dead. That couldn't be it either why would I still feel this pain? I retraced my memories. Maybe I was asleep or I was dying. I couldn't afford that. 

     The pain it still buried it's hot embrace into my thoughts it was staggering. I need to get this to stop. I can't feel my body. Then how can I feel this pain? Why is it so dark? I need to get up, to move. I have a duty to attend to. What can I use to anchor myself? The ebony darkness cut off my hope for sight. Yet, my could I feel the red pain? My red? How can I not see and still have this redness or was it an enveloping red? No, I clearly couldn't see. 

     I smelled nothing it was strange to be in a state to not even smell anything. My days I often went without thinking about the smells around me yet, I always knew the scents of the world were there. This was clearly nothing not even like the stagnant air of a building.  This stench of nothing that disturbed my nose easily fit into this void of senses. 

     Much alike my other senses I could feel nothing. I was meet by nothing in each area of my senses. Exploring these feelings left me questioning if these senses were real. What was I to expect in place of this nothingness? How could I conceptualize any of it. This nothingness was overpowering washing even my memories of them clean. Yet, the void could not wipe the one thing it needed to wipe away. This pain was staggering. Why was it still here? Surely if this was death my mortal wound would not stay here with me. Why would such a cruel fate await a soul to only bear that which killed them.

      I refuse to believe that death was alike this. To have so many divinations from many a culture to assure the presence of gods and other realms. Even the realm of death had to lie among the many assured existences out there. This realm of nothing was surely an outlier within my own mind. I need to leave here. this can't be death. I can't afford to be dead but, why? It felt as though my memory was being taken. I can't afford this. I needed to recover from this but how? 

     The pain still wouldn't leave. I couldn't place where it was but it was there. Why won't this pain leave? At a time like this I needed to be grounded and this wasn't helping. I can't calm myself with this searing pain bothering me. No matter how much time passed it wouldn't subside and only grew worse. 

     This hell is a terrible fate that I could wish upon no one. Yet, here I was stuck within it. Would this be better or worse without the pain? Would I simply lose my self? Could I actually ground my self without the pain? Why was I growing to accept this? Was it because even my senses had been other  wise ripped from me? I had something do and yet I could remember what. If I could feel the sensation I'm sure my face would have been long dried from the tears of hopelessness and loss. I could not even remember the sensation but rather that it was in fact something that existed.

     Was I to finally accept this pain? To allow that to only be the only constant within my existence? No! I could never accept something as foul as that. To allow only this pain be my life in this void could only be seen as hopeless. I have something to do and I will not allow this to stop my goal.

     Although I cannot accept this pain I can certainly grasp onto it. I feel certain now that this is the way to my tortured escape. To use this pain to grasp onto it. I will pull myself from this. I will not accept this pain but use it to pull myself along. I willed myself closer and closer to the pain. 

     At what point did I realize my senses where back I was still surrounded by a void but this one felt different. I was still dark but, I could feel myself. It was cool the sensation was biting but welcome to the abyssal emptiness I had felt earlier. Parts of my body felt warmer than others as if I were wrapped by something. I moved my arms with haste and felt the rough texture of cloth under my fingers. 

     The sensations overwhelming me brought tears to my eyes. Never had I been so happy to simply feel before. It was wonderful to be able to know what I felt was real. The pain was still there but it was washed out compared to everything else that was coming back to me.  As the time passed even my smell and hearing came back to me. I felt the wind, whilst hearing it and smelling the wrench of blood and rot. I finally opened my eyes to the starry sky determined to not only live but to thrive on each sensation before me. This was withing my original goal. I was certainly undeterrable  now after that void.