IN MY FEELINGS

Chapter Five

Ed was getting annoyed. He didn't know what he felt anymore. Did he love Elsie? He was sure he wasn't in love with her at first but what about now? Did he love her now? If not, why couldn't he stop thinking about her? Why did he get so worried when she was nowhere to be found. Why does he feel so bad for maltreating her?.

"Do you love her?"Edmund asked. He looked at Ed like  there was something mysterious about him that he wanted to figure out.
Ed didn't respond. He kept silent.
"Edwin, do you love Elsie?" He asked again but this time, calmly, almost as if he was whispering.
"I do"Ed said in a tone as low as the one Edmund asked him with.
"Here you go, she's in room 74" he handed over the keys to him.
"Thanks a lot Edmund. Thank you"he rushed out of the room.
He sighed heavily when he found the room. He knocked but no one answered so he used the keys. Elsie was asleep when he entered. He sat on the bed and stared at her.
"You've really given me a hard time Elsie. Why did you punish me this way?" He said quietly and slowly.
Elsie woke up by the feeling of his touch. She opened her eyes and saw Ed. No, no, she had got to be dreaming. Had Ed found her? How was that possible. She shut her eyes again and was disappointed by what she saw when she opened them again.
"What are you doing here?".
"You've given me a tough time Elsie. Why did you do that? Why did you go without telling me?".
"I have nothing to tell you. Go away Edwin".
"I'm going nowhere. I brought you here. Remember?".
"Yeah you did but I'm no longer under your custody. I'm going to repay you but right now, just leave me alone"
"She's so difficult to deal with" Ed thought.
What could he do for her to understand him? He can't leave. What if she runs away again. He kept silent and stared at her blankly.
"What are you staring at?"
"Elsie just try and understand me. I'm sorry for my behaviour lately. I hurt you several times and I'm sorry".
"Why did you date me in the first place huh? You knew very well that you felt nothing for me but you still went on with it. I was just stupid".
"No you weren't, I was. I toyed with your feelings without thinking about it. Those days are over. It won't happen again El. I'm sorry?".
"El?" She giggled "I've heard you Ed. You can go now".
"Go? No Elsie.  I'm going nowhere without you. I said I'm sorry right?".
"Yeah you said that and your apology has been accepted but I'm not going anywhere with you".
"Fine then. I'm leaving".
"Thank you".
"I will come back for you Elsie" he said as he got to the door ".

"She's so stubborn. I apologised right? What else does she want. I just don't get girls"he said when he got to his room. He needed something to reduce the pain he was feeling. Why did he still feel bad when he had apologised. Was it because he felt Elsie had still not forgiven him? What was he going to do to reduce the pain?. Alcohol. Yes, he'd drown his sorrows in alcohol.
He left the hotel and got drunk.

Ed wasn't really a good drinker. The last time he got drunk, it ended him in a hospital. He came down with a fever and was kept in the hospital for a whole day. As if that didn't teach him a lesson. He got drunk this time too.
Luckily for him, he managed to find his way to the hotel.

"Oh my God. Edwin you're drunk" the receptionist said in surprise when Ed got there.
"No I'm not. I'm okay. I'll just go upstairs, to my room"he pointed to the stairs and headed there.
"No I don't think you're strong enough to go by yourself. Sit here" she helped him to sit.
"So why did you get drunk?".
"Drunk? I'm not drunk. I just took a little alcohol".
"Okay. Why did you take in a little alcohol?".
"Um, It's Elsie".
"Elsie? The lady you came with?" Ed nodded "why, what did she do?".
Ed kept quiet for a while and smiled.
"She hurt me" he paused "no, I hurt her then she hurt me. It's complicating".
"I can see" she smiled back.
"Yeah so that's why I took in a little alcohol".
"You don't look fine. Wait, oh my. You're hot" she exclaimed when she touched his forehead.
"I think you're coming down with  fever, wait I'll call the doctor".
"Doctor? No I don't need a doctor I'm fine. I just need Elsie. Call her".
The receptionist called Edmund instead. Maybe he'd know what to do.

"What happened to him. He was okay when I last saw him" Edmund exclaimed when he saw him.
"I don't know but he's drunk. He smells like beer and he's coming down with a fever" the receptionist said after getting close to sniff him.
"Help me get him to his room" he tried to lift him but Ed refused to be lifted.
"He has been that way since he got here. He won't go upstairs till Elsie is here. Do you know where she is?".
"Yeah I do but I can't contact her right now. I'll just take him upstairs and I'll get Elsie later. Ed let's go" he lifted him by force now.
Ed looked miserable when they got to his room. He was hot and he sneezed every now and then. He was wet so Edmund guessed he had a cold from being in the rain.
"Ed, stay here. I'll get Elsie for you" he left a miserable Edwin on the bed and went to get Elsie.

Elsie was startled when Edmund entered without knocking.
"Look who has forgotten his manners?"she said jokingly.
"Elsie you have to come with me. It's Ed".
"Ed? What about him?".
"He's really drunk and he looks terrible. I think he has a fever or something".
"If you think I'm going to fall for this then your thoughts are wrong. Ed doesn't drink frequently. I'm not buying it. You just want me to see him".
"I'm serious Elsie. He is drunk and he doesn't look too well. He refuses to be taken care of until you're there. Let's just go".
"Fine I'll go with you but I won't forgive you if this is a lie".
"Trust me".

She went with him and she was baffled by what she saw.
"Ed!" She went close to him "oh God, what did you do to yourself. You look so pale" tears started to run down her  cheeks.
Ed was silent. His eyes were closed. Damn! the guy looked dead.
"Ed, I'm here. Talk to me. Ed, please talk to me. Say anything you want. Shout at me. Scold me. Anything Ed" she paused "but please don't stay silent. Open your eyes".
"Elsie, don't cry. It won't help. I'll go downstairs and call for a doctor"Edmund went outside.
He didn't know why it hurt to see Elsie sad. He couldn't bear to see her like that.
The doctor was there ten minutes later after Elsie had changed his clothes and brought the fever down with ice.
"Doctor, will he be fine? Will he wake up?" Elsie was devastated.
"Yeah he will. Luckily, you were able to bring the fever down before it worsened. It seems he had too much to drink. He will be okay though".
"Thanks doc. I'll see you off". Edmund offered.
"Okay but take care of him. Make sure he doesn't drink that much again".
"We will doc".

"Mr Octavio, trust us. We've searched almost everywhere for your daughter. Our conclusion is that she's out of LA" the police told Elsie's parents after three days of searching for her.
"Out of LA? My goodness. We don't have any relatives outside the country"Gracia said. Her heart was breaking. How could they have lost Elsie too. How could she be so stupid?.
"Well that's all we can say for now. We'll take our leave".
"Thanks a lot"Manuel said when he saw them off.

He turned to see Gracia crying. No, not tears. Not now. That was all he needed to break him down.
"No Gracia. No. Not now. Please, you need to be strong. For our daughter. I think she's safe. She will show up".
"Oh come on. That's the same thing we've been consoling ourselves with since Ernest disappeared".
"..but this is different".
"How is it different?".
"This is Elsie, not Ernest and Gracia, she was with you, not me. I know for a fact that Ernest ran away because he didn't like being in the military but what reason will Elsie have to run away huh? She had everything she wanted here".
"Manuel" she paused "do you think she's also dead?".
"Also?".
"Yeah. Just like Ernest"she sobbed.
"Gracia! Ernest isn't dead".
"Oh really? Then where is he huh? He's not here, is he? Why hasn't he showed up?"she cried more.
"Just stay strong for me okay? Our children need it. Please".
She did nothing but cry.

"Elsie that's okay. Stop crying" Edmund felt terrible to see her like that.
"Edmund, do you think he's going to wake up? He looks really pale. I'm scared Edmund".
"You heard the doctor right? He's going to be fine. We just have to take care of him and stay strong for him. Can you do that for him? He needs it".
Elsie hugged him and nodded.
Edmund didn't really know why he felt so connected to Elsie. He felt like she was his responsibility and that there was this strong bond between them.