I'm Sinking Like a Stone in the Sea // Naomily

Chapter 10

A/N: Hey everyone, I hope you all are enjoying the story. A few things I want to add: One, yes this is a Naomily fanfic. Two, I know how to write stories, and Jordyn/Emily are apart of the plotline. Naomi is happily in a relationship, why can't Emily? Three, no, Jordyn is not me. She is a real person, however. Four, Naomily will rise once again.

It had been over three weeks since she had seen Emily. She was kind of sad about it but also relieved. Seeing Emily that night really hurt her. Even though she came off as confident and not broken, the entire day after she was anxious.

Anxious that's she'd run into her again.

Anxious that Emily would find her and kiss her.

Anxious that'd she'd want Emily to kiss her.

Some part of her wished she would run into her ex at the market or on her way to work. A part of her wished she would come back.

But she knew that she shouldn't think like that; she had Kian. She had this gorgeous man who loved her unconditionally and hadn't left like like Emily did.

 

The blonde got ready for work while the whirlwind of anxiety that was Emily filled her head. She filled her cup with coffee before planting a kiss on Kian's scruffy cheek.

"I'm gonna head out. What do you want for dinner?" Naomi asked, her slender fingers grabbing her light coat from the closet by the door.

"Pizza?" Kian replied with a small grin.

"You're a child, I swear," she laughed. "I'll be home later. I'll ring you on my way home."

"Yeah," he answered absentmindedly, getting distracted by some cartoon playing on the television.

She admired him silently before closing the door.

//

"Hey Blondie, Kian says you've been acting kinda strange lately. What's got ya down?" Cook's voice boomed from Naomi's mobile.

"I uh.. I saw Emily a few weeks ago," Naomi replied quietly as she turned down the volume a bit.

"What?!"

"Yeah, that night we all went out to the club and got really smashed. Effy, Katie, and Emily were there. We talked in the bathroom and it was really fucking awkward Cookie," Naomi sighed, twirling her hair. She was feeling anxious again. Her eyes stung slightly and her nose started to burn. She couldn't believe that Emily still has this control over her after over a year.

"Well what'd she say?" She could hear the anger in his voice. Cook was always protective of Naomi.

"That's she's fucking sorry." Naomi sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "She looked like she fucking meant it," her voice cracking on the last word.

"Aw, Naomikins" his voice softened.

"I don't know what to do. I've been trying to not let it bother me but I've been getting panic attacks and Kian probably hates me for it and I feel guilty because I wish I could see her again and I don't know if it's because I want to yell at her or kiss her and I fucking hate it."

Her breathing quickened and her heartbeat sped up. She leaned her head against the cool desk as she tried to slow down her breathing.

The other end of the line was silent.

"Cookie?" Naomi asked quietly, pain in her voice.

"Yeah, uh. Sorry babes, I gotta go. I'll stop by your place later though." And he was gone.

"Fuck," Naomi mumbled to herself as she slammed her phone against the wood of her desk. Pushing her fingers against her eyes she squeezed them shut in an attempt to keep in the tears.

She spent the rest of her shift in a robotic way. She edited the papers that landed on her desk and sent them out without bothering to take a break. She wanted out of the stuffy building and get home where she could sulk in private.

//

Naomi stepped onto the pavement and set off down the street, hoping that the slight drizzle soft wind would help clear her head. Swiftly, she set her earbuds into her ears and pressed shuffle on her phone. Music filled her ears as she slowly turned the volume up loud enough to drown out her thoughts.

The blonde made her way down the street, blending in with the mob of people heading the same way. It was almost as if her body was on autopilot, not paying full attention to what was happening but enough to stop before crossing the streets and not run into anyone on accident. She almost didn’t see the supermarket that she needed to stop at on her way home.

Mechanically, she grabbed a basket and browsed down the aisles. She picked out some beer and two frozen pizzas, knowing that Kian would probably devour an entire one by himself. She softly smiled to herself, making her way towards the register. Naomi handed the teller some money and said a small thank you as she headed back outside into the gloomy weather. The rain started to pick up a little more as she made her way back to her flat.

She and Kian ate quietly in the living room while Kian laughed at some comedy special that was on. When she was done eating she showered and dried off as she dug through her drawers looking for something to wear to bed. The blonde made a mental note to do laundry soon.

Tucked in the back of her drawer was the shirt she found under the bed after Emily left.  It was then that she noticed how pathetic and small she felt. It was like Emily left her all over again. The anxiety that had nestled itself into her stomach for the past few weeks felt like it imploded.

When Kian found her some time later, she didn’t know how long she had been crying for or how long she sat herself on the floor, folded up and staring at the wall. She didn’t know when she put on Emily’s old t-shirt or even when she fell asleep after Kian tucked her into bed a few moments later.

All she knew is that she still fucking loved that girl.