Summer Girl

Summer Girl - Chapter 4

Chapter FOUR 

I was slipping on my flip flops before I realized I hadn't called Cay. The fact that I was even going down to the beach after dinner to meet boys, by myself, was one thing. But I'd forgotten to call my only friend to fill her in. Now, there was no time. Cay didn't have a car and it would take her thirty minutes to walk. I didn't exactly have a curfew, but it was already after 9 P.M. I was always in the house by 10 at the latest. But then again, I didn't have any friends, therefore no reason to stay out later than that.

  DECIDED NOT TO GO OUT. I'LL CALL YOU TOMORROW, I sent to Cay instead.

  I didn't really like to lie, but this would probably be nothing anyway. I was just walking thirty feet from our back door, to the beach.

  I slipped off my flip flops again as soon as my feet touched the sand. I always left them in a certain spot. It was a warm evening, and I was wearing shorts, but a long sleeved top. My hair was back in a messy bun. I'd stared at myself in the mirror for a few minutes before I left - added mascara and lip gloss for no real reason.

  I was short. And therefore not exactly skinny. I was properly proportioned, but I wished I was skinnier. And prettier. Clara was taller than me, and thinner. She had great skin, dirty blond hair and blue eyes. My Dad, Cora told me, was Italian. His parents were born in Italy and lived there most of their lives. I had olive skin, dark hair and green eyes, freckles on my nose. I had boobs, and hips. I was just an average looking seventeen year old.

  It was getting dark, but I knew where I was going. When I stopped, just a few feet away, I almost turned back. I wanted to run.

  "Wow. You came," Max said loudly, taking a few steps towards me.

  I couldn't get out of this now. I kept my eyes on him. "Yep."

  "Sweet." He held out his hand to me.

  For some reason, I took it. Something about him really made me feel comfortable. We walked beside each other for a few steps, and then stopped. His brother was still a bit away, holding the yellow frisbee, a beer can in his other hand. Another guy was close to us, grinning.

  "Your new friend, Max?" he asked.

  "Callen, this is Izzie," Max nodded, still holding my hand.

  I let go. "Hi."

  "Hello," Callen nodded, then took a sip of his beer.

  "Harley!" Max called out, louder.

  Harley. His name was Harley.

  He tossed the frisbee to Callen, then started to walk over. My heart was pounding. For some reason I was okay with Max. Maybe because I knew he was gay. But something about Harley made me feel sick. His blonde hair was sort of puffy and he had a very distinct jaw line. He wasn't very thin, but I could tell he was muscular. It was as if he was walking towards me in slow motion. I felt like I didn't even know who I was, on the beach with strangers. But it was exciting, and I was glad I was there.

  "Hey," Harley said, smiling at me.

  I was just staring at him. I made a noise, but couldn't find any words. Max let out a loud laugh. I was so embarrassed, I looked down at my bare feet.

  "Harley, this is Izzie," he said proudly, like I was his to show off. He nudged me closer.

  I half smiled, unsure. I stepped back, away, instead. I wondered if he remembered me, at all. We saw each other on the beach, when I was with Cay. And I saw him at the Burger Hut, but I had no idea if he saw me. Or if he even cared.

  Harley was waiting for me to say something, anything, but I didn't. I opened and closed my mouth, then kicked some sand with my toe. He stumbled a bit in the sand, then laughed. Max was staring at me. I looked down at my feet again. I saw Harley glance at me again before turning to catch the frisbee from Callen again.

  "He's had a few drinks," Max told me, like that was the answer I needed. I just shrugged. "You want a beer?"

  "You're actually not supposed to drink on the beach. It's public property here," I told him.

  "Oh, yeah. We know," he replied. "There no cops out here."

  "Actually, there is. My neighbour, there, his son is a beach patroller..." I said, nodding towards Mr. O'Neil's beach house, two down from mine.

  "That's your neighbour? So, which is yours?" Max looked curious.

  I pointed further down the beach. "The two story. With the blue door."

  "You live there?"

  I nodded. "Since I was three."

  "Like, all year round?" He looked shocked, like he didn't believe people actually lived in beach towns. I nodded, quiet. Max sucked in a breath. "We live in Lakeland. Well, our Mom does. Dad lives in Tampa, but he bought the cottage on that back road last year..."

  I nodded again, watching Callen and Harley. They were laughing, and looked so care-free. I wished I could feel that way. Watching them suddenly made me feel even worse about my lack of friends and social skills. Talking to Max came easy, but I hadn't even managed to say a word to Harley. I couldn't.

  "I should go," I said to Max, suddenly

  "What? Why?" Max looked confused.

  "I'm not... I can't..."

  "Izzie... we're cool. We just want to be friends," Max said softly.

  "I'm just... I really have to go," I said, looking into his eyes for a second.

  I kept walking away, even when he called after me. I slipped back into my sandals and ran up the back patio, into the house, my face warm.

  I laid in my bed for two hours, trying to figure out what happened. They were just friendly guys who wanted to hang out. Why couldn't I just relax? Why couldn't I make friends? Why I was so complicated?

Finally, I sent a text to Max:

  DON'T TELL HARLEY THAT I LIVE HERE.

  I HAVEN'T TOLD HIM ANYTHING.

  OKAY GOOD.

  WHY SHOULDN'T I TELL HIM?

  GUYS WANT SUMMER HOOK UPS WITH GIRLS WHO ARE ALSO ON VACATION. YOU KNOW, SUMMER FLINGS?

  MAYBE THATS TRUE. BUT YOU DIDN'T EVEN SAY HELLO TO MY BROTHER.

  IM AWKWARD. I WAS HOME SCHOOLED.

  YOU DON'T SEEM AWKWARD TO ME.

  WELL, I AM. I DON'T HAVE FRIENDS.

  YOU DO NOW. TEXT ME IF YOU WANT TO HANG OUT AGAIN.

  OK. NIGHT.

  NIGHT IZZIE.

  I couldn't sleep that night, at all. I couldn't stop thinking about Harley's smile and how he laughed with his head back and how his hair fell into his eyes. I'd never had a crush like this before. I'd never had the chance. Now that Clara was gone, maybe it was time to stop being so anti social. I didn't have her to make me feel like I was okay, normal. Now all I felt was completely un-normal. And I wanted to change that.