Oakbrook - The Portal

Christmas

Christmas

Kate turned over in bed, waking as her cheek touched the cold edge of the pillow. Moments later the soft pad of children's footsteps pattered across the landing like tiny elephants. Her bedroom door eased open, and she could hear the squeak of Sam's door across the landing.

"Bloody hell, Tom! Your feet are like blocks of ice!" Kate yelped as he slipped his feet under the covers. "It's too early."

"No, it's not." He hauled his over-stuffed stocking onto the bed. "It's half past seven."

In the other bedroom, behind the closed door, Sam buried her head under a pillow and tried to pretend she hadn't heard anything.

"Mummy! Come on! It's Christmas!" Susan bounced the door, trailing a burstingly full stocking behind her. She tickled and tugged at the pillow until Sam grumpily relented. She sat up and rearranged the pillows as a back rest, reached over the side of the bed and pulled on a thick knitted cardigan. Susan settled herself on Sam's lap, and Sam draped an arm round her. Sam dragged a hand over her face, not yet fully awake.

"We have our stocking presents first." Susan told her, "Because Aunty Kate likes to wake up slowly and doesn't want to get up. Then we have breakfast, then tree presents." "Happy Christmas, Mummy, I'm glad you came back."

Susan pulled a small shiny packet from the top of her stocking and scrunched it in her fingers. She felt round the contents, her eyes closed tight as she tried to work out what might be inside. She tore the corner a little, savouring the moment, peered inside. Then she let out a squeal of delight and shredded the rest of the paper across the bed.

The uncontrolled paper tearing frenzy that followed was almost too much for Sam. She hugged the cardigan closer, unable to be a part of the high excitement that flooded the room. The pile of paper, gifts and laughter was more than she could cope with. Unwilling to disappoint Susan, but caught in a swirl of unfamiliar feelings, she sat and said nothing. Heart heavy and eyes bleak she watched, but from the outside, as if she wasn't really there. Despite the weight of a happy child on her legs and feet, the heavy feeling in her chest and tightness in her throat threatened to overwhelm her, and she knew she'd be close to tears in a few moments.

Eventually all the parcels were opened and the paper shreds scooped into a waiting bin bag. Kate appeared in the doorway wrapped in a fleece dressing gown, beckoned to Susan.

"Time to get dressed, Susan, leave your mum a few minutes to come and join us for breakfast, ok" She turned to follow Susan from the room. "No-one goes downstairs before I'm ready!" She pushed the door almost shut before turning back to Sam.

"Sam." She began. "I know it's hard. I know you're not used to this. I sympathise even if I can't understand." She leaned on the door frame, watching Sam's expression. "I'd love to be able to say go back to sleep, get up when you're ready. But it's Christmas. I can't stop it. I can't stop them opening their presents and Susan desperately wants you down there with her."

Sam turned away, her face bleak. "I can't cope with this." She said flatly. "I just can't. I'm sorry Kate. I'm so sorry." She looked so close to tears that Kate stepped into the room, sat on the edge of the bed and held her with one arm around her shoulders. Sam leaned her head on Kate's shoulder, while Kate rubbed her back.

"Oh, Sam, my friend." She murmured, "It'll be alright. It's all going to be fine." Sam clung for a while before gently pushing Kate away. She stared into Kate's green eyes and almost smiled.

"Go get dressed and put the kettle on. I'll be there in a few minutes to have breakfast with you all. I can make the effort, I can try."

Kate did just that. She could hear the children playing happily in their rooms as she crossed the landing and grinned as Tom scooted towards the stairs with an armload of toys. He was only half dressed in jeans.