We'll Make it as a Quintette (on hold)

Chapter 8: Consciousness

~LOUIS' POV.~

I wake up in a hospital room, the last thing I remember is Harry crying at my side while I bled to death.

-flashback-

When we had arrived home I rushed in and ran to my room locking the door I grabbed my box which was still under my bed. I went into the bathroom and hurriedly cut two very deep and long cuts on my arm. It hurt like hell so I lied down and writhed pain on the floor. Harry had come in even though I told him to stay out, he was blubbering about something but I couldn't really remember, I was barely conscious. I felt my body being picked up and then I fell unconscious.

-flashback over-

Now here I am lying in a hospital bed. I look around, the sun is just coming up, I hear the breathing of someone else so I look over and see Harry sleeping in a chair. I wonder how long I've been here. I examine Harry closer, he's wearing the outfit that he was wearing when we went to that meeting, maybe it's only been one night. I try to move my arm that I cut but it hurts, really, really bad. I quietly cry out in pain. I hold my breath hoping that I didn't wake Harry, but he stirs. His eyes open and he sees me lying there with my eyes open, "Lou!" he practically yells he comes over and kisses my lips. His lips taste salty, he breaks the kiss sooner than I want so my head stars to travel up with his. "Stay lying down Lou," he says, he's right, I feel really dizzy so I lie back down.

"How long was I unconscious?" I ask.

"Only since yesterday afternoon," Harry says. His eyes tear up, "I'm so glad that you've gained consciousness," he says as he runs his fingers through my hair, "I was so worried that I'd lost you, the doctor said you'd be conscious this morning, but I didn't believe him. I cried until I fell asleep, and I think I cried a bit in my sleep too." I smile at Harry, I can tell that he's definitely glad I'm awake, but I'm not to satisfied. I had cut that deep in the first place to end it all. If Harry hadn't called emergency services it would have worked too. I sigh heavily, Harry stars crying and smiling. I groan, "What's wrong Lou?" Harry asks.

I sigh again, he really doesn't understand, "It's just," I start, "I wanted it to be over," I pause for a minute and Harry stands there looking a little confused but mostly worried, I sigh again, "Harry, I didn't want to wake up." He starts crying sad tears, he kneels next to the hospital bed, hugs my mid section, and puts his ear on my stomach.

He sniffles, "No Lou," he sniffles again, still crying, "You had to wake up," he sniffles, yet again, "You have to stay alive," he hiccups as he tries to take a deep breath, "because if you die, I die too."

I look down at him in dismay, "Harry you wouldn't..."

He nods, "I would." I look back up at the ceiling facing this new issue. I want to be dead, dead dead dead, dead, but Harry? I love Harry and I'm just dragging him down, if it weren't for me he could maybe find a girl and just be normal. He has so much potential, but if I kill myself he'll kill himself, that would just be a disaster. Not at the loss of me, my death wouldn't mean to much or hurt anybody, but Harry. Harry is the most amazing person you could ever meet and I could never be the reason of his death. "Lou?" Harry asks sheepishly, I look down at him, "What's going on?" I look at him confused, what does he mean, "In your head I mean," he says answering my question. I sigh and shake my head, "C'mon Lou."

I sigh again, "It's nothing," I say.

"It might be nothing to you Lou," Harry says as he gets up and sits in the chair that's closest to my bed. He takes my hand and strokes the top of it with his thumb, "but to me?" he says, "It's everything." I look away, closing my eyes and shaking my head, "Yes Louis," he pauses a moment and I slowly look into his eyes, he looks so sad and serious and down right gorgeous, even though he's wet with tears. He takes a really deep breath, hiccuping because he's been crying, "Louis William Tomlinson," he says, "you are my everything, you are my world, I would be so lost without you. Lou, if you where Romeo I'd be Juliet, and if you where Juliet I'd be Romeo, and if our story has to end like theirs, it, sure as hell, will," he pauses for a moment, "Louis I need you and I refuse to live in this world without you. Like if you die first when we're old, I will spend every second I have crying and I will cry until my body is out of liquid and then I'll die too," he pauses again, "So please Louis, stay." I examine his face he's crying and he looks so broken, I hate seeing him this way and I hate even more that I'm the cause of it, I sigh look away, "Louis please," Harry says, "stay, don't leave."