𝐏𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧' 𝐆𝐮𝐲 ➺ 𝐵𝓇𝒾𝒶𝓃 𝑀𝒶𝓎 & 𝒬𝓊𝑒𝑒𝓃

40. Fucking Demented

Roger

"So... You're meeting the parents tomorrow, are you?" I casually remarked, looking up from my notebook and catching Brian's attention. He raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued by my comment. "What?"

"Emma told me," I explained, shrugging nonchalantly and returning to doodling on the notebook in my lap, my feet propped up on the coffee table. With Freddie at Mary's place more often these days, it was a rare moment of solitude for Brian and me in the house. The girls were together at the flat, leaving us with a chance to have a proper conversation, which oddly felt awkward.

Brian hummed in response, his focus returning to his book. "Does she often share personal stuff about my girlfriend with you?"

"Don't start, mate, seriously," I sighed, rolling my eyes at his question.

"I'm not starting anything. You don't see how nervous Maria gets about telling anyone anything. You don't witness the frequent panic attacks she has. You don't see the pain she's in because of your own girlfriend. So, don't 'don't start' me, Rog," Brian retorted, his tone tinged with frustration.

"Okay, you need to calm down and stop being so bitchy. I know Emma can be a lot, but it's not my responsibility to fix that!" I huffed, tossing my pen and paper onto the table and storming into the kitchen to grab a bottle from the fridge. "I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. I'm trying to have a conversation with someone without being scared of saying the wrong thing—"

"What do you mean 'scared'?" Brian's voice cut through the tension, causing me to freeze. Leaning against the doorframe, I met his gaze, his full attention now fixed on me instead of his book. "You know, just... It's silly stuff, Bri. You've already admitted that Emma can be a handful." I dismissed it, settling back into the plush chair and avoiding eye contact, desperately trying to focus on anything else.

"Roger," Brian began, sighing and straightening himself up on the sofa. If looks could kill, I would be six feet under. "Don't tiptoe around anything anymore. Our lives are getting harder. We're making an album together. We've both dropped out of university. We need to start being completely honest with each other. All of us."

As much as I hated to admit it, Brian was absolutely right. I took a deep breath, steeling myself to share something vulnerable. "If I tell you something... Do you promise it will stay between us? No more discussing it. Just so somebody knows."

He nodded, a mix of confusion and concern reflecting in his scrunched-up eyes. "Listen. We may fight like two schoolgirls, but I am your best friend. And as far as I'm concerned, you're not getting rid of me that easy. You can tell me anything. Just tell me."

I won't lie, Brian's promises and words warmed my heart. For the first time in a long time, I felt a connection that went beyond physical pleasure. I had used those encounters to mask the lack of emotional depth in my life, but it was always Brian who reminded me of the importance of genuine friendship.

"Okay, you know what? I'll just say it." I took a deep swig of beer, trying to gather the courage to voice my truth. Avoiding eye contact with Brian, I continued, my words stumbling out. "Emma... she has a tendency to get violent when I express opinions she disagrees with." My voice cracked, betraying the emotional weight of my confession. "I do love her, Brian, I really do. She's the first person I've ever felt this way about. But commitment... it's not something I'm comfortable with. I've tried talking to her about it, but she always deflects."

Tears welled up in my eyes, and I struggled to compose myself. "I've been trying to change for her—I even tried to grow out some facial hair because she said I looked too feminine. I don't even know who I am anymore."