Enslaved Heart (A "No one lives" fan-fiction)

Never say Never

Simon kicked his leg under the seat unable to tether the feelings that currently rampaged his feverishly beating heart. That man had stood there outside the bus and for a moment their eyes had met and with such eye contact rippled a feeling through the boy that he could not put a name to. Was it fear? Anger? No, it seemed to be a combination of both that made him want to hunch over and vomit but also dash off the bus and beat him into a bloody pulp. Even now his fists were clenched together shaking and tightened until the dull fingernails began to cut his own palms open and by that time he had loosened his grip. None of this felt fair, not one moment but with Donna sitting beside him he knew the smile couldn't fall from his lips. It would break her heart to see his pain and anger and after everything she had sacrificed that was an option.

"How are you feeling?" He stiffened as her gruff but softer voice spoke up from the driver's seat after hours of silent driving. Through her eyes stayed glued to the road above and it was clear that there was a plan formulating in that head.

"How are you feeling? He didn't do anything to me, hell he barely acknowledged me." It was in that last sentence where the true bitterness lied within Simon. This man had taken his entire family and yet he stood there with a cold indifferent gaze as if he was nothing but a vermin to trod upon. A stepping stone to the true object of his desires being Donna, he wanted to forgive her for that truth but deep down an anger was fermenting.

"He didn't acknowledge you for a reason. It wasn't about you in that moment which is a good thing though I suspect if I hadn't been standing in front of you, he would have taken the shot. Driver's jealous of you Simon, don't forget that."

"Jealous? Jealous of what hm? Can't be jealous of trash." He smirked as if trying to lighten the subject into a joke but it faltered at the very serious look shot at him. "C'mon Donna you can't be mad at that! It was funny."

"I never said I was mad, in fact I think I'm the only one here who isn't'." She replied in an even tone now refusing to return his intent gaze.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"What do you think it means?"

He stared at her, waiting for an answer but when none came but the question he could feel fury begin to bubble up from deep within. Wanting nothing more than to cap it up but each indignant stare from the woman only brought back this feeling of anger that he couldn't understand. Why is she treating me like this? Like I'm a child! Tears of frustration cloated at the ends of his eyes and he quickly wiped them away until there was too many and they streamed freely down his freckled pale face. He was so angry. Angry at the world and at that man but at the same time angry at himself for not being able to protect them both. In each situation it was Donna who took the blow for him and stepped up to the plate. Charlotte, mom, dad, each of them sacrificed everything all of it to ensure his survival but Simon wasn't even sure he deserved it. Drawing in his knees he clasped his hands around his ears trying to block out the words from his own mind. That called him useless and pathetic but they swirled with such intensity until at last a voice broke through them all.

"Talk to me."

"W-What?" Simon sniffled into his knee caps and then raised up his head brushing away shaggy ginger locks to stare at her. "Why? I'm fine. See? I'm hunky dory!" A smile crossed his face but then quickly fell.

"No you're not Simon. I can tell, you've been upset for a while now. It's ok to be mad at me. I ruined your life, I get it." Her eyes were morose against the road shimmering a clear blue that were frosted over in a shield of apathy.

"I'M NOT MAD AT YOU!" Silence for a few moments as she stiffened her hands clenching hard around the wheel but saying nothing, not even at his prompting stares, she was waiting for him. "I'm mad at myself... I-I can't keep doing this Donna. I'm so.. So scared. Everyone gave up everything to protect me and now I just feel so.. Alone. Worthless. It's just like before in the woods but when he looked at me like I was trash.. He was right. What right did I have to survive when no one else did."