I Am Fine ( Depressed Kaminari)

Chapter 2

I can't focus in class. Two sides of my brain are thinking about two different things--one daydreaming about Shinsou, and the other telling me how much of a failure I am.

Fun stuff.

As soon as class is over I dash over to Shinsou. I want to be this guy's friend--or boyfriend--

"Hiya!!"

"Hm?" He looks at me tiredly. God I'm a sucker for tired eyes-- His facial expression screams "Why the hell are you talking to me?"

I panic. How can I get him interested in a conversation?  How can I get him to like me??

How can I get him to like me when I can't even like myself...?

I start rambling. I'm not even sure what I'm saying. It's just pure gay panic. What a great impression.

He just nods. He's not even paying attention to what I'm saying. I don't even know what I'm saying. All I know is at some point I said 'cat' and he looked at me with new found interest.

Jackpot.

"Cats are cool," Shinsou replied cooly, obviously hiding his love of cats.

"They are!! They're so soft and fluffy and andsjskwkqkq!!!!"

I'm more of a dog person, but am I going to tell him that? Definitely not. My chances are ruined if I do. I'm also allergic to cats--

" Mhm. Did you just--verbalize a keyboard smash?"

" Yeah." I smile nervously.

He smiles a little. The first time I've seen him actually smile.

"It's cute-- not like that--but--"

My heart sinks. Oh. He doesn't like  me. I mean, who could?  I'm stupid....I'm weak....I'm selfish.....my ex's all saw that. That's probably why I can't stay in a relationship for too long. I should just die...

But he called me cute! So maybe--just maybe-- I have a chance. Maybe I should stick around and find out...?

***
Shinsou

***
Who is he? I remember him from the sports festival,  he had the cool electric quirk. But what. Is. His. Name.

He's so cute. Literally the cutest thing on Earth--well except for cats. He's a close second.

He's rambling about something. He's talking a hundred miles per hour, so I'm not even sure what he's talking about.  I just nod to be polite. I'm just focusing on how his hands are fidgeting. That has to be the cutest nervous habit--

Then I hear "Something something  cats--"

I'm now interested in this conversation. I'm not sure what this conversation even is, but I'm invested now.

"Cats are cool," I say, trying to suppress my love of cats into three words without sounding like a crazy cat lady. I want to further this conversation about cats.

The blonde lights up a little, as if just realizing his effort to start a conversation wasn't for nothing.

"They are!! They're so soft and fluffy and andsjskwkqkq!!!!"

Did this guy really just verbalize a keyboard smash? Is that even possible? How? Actually I don't care. We're talking about cats here not his ability to do that.

"Yeah," He smiled nervously. I just realized I said that out loud. His hands started fidgeting again.

That's too cute. I can't help but smile. "It's cute--" I immediately realize that a straight guy hearing me call something about him cute will make him think I like him--"Not like that--but--"

His face falls a little. He has no poker face at all. He's easy to read--

Wait--

That reaction--

Oh shit--he doesn't....

Does he.....?