Someone somewhere. [Asking alexandria fan fiction]

part two: the talk.

first thought in the morning: god, my head hurts.

second thought: i am such a complete dumb ass.

after my long cry last night, i didn't fall asleep until three a m, and now I'm waking up at around 7 pm. i check my phone and see that i have 1 missed call and two texts. the call is from Jo Jo, the texts are from Ben. i gulp and read the texts.

first one:

Jo Jo said that you left because you were sick. you're a fucking liar :)

second:

we need to talk.

the last one is quite recent, so against my better judgement, i reply.

why? i have nothing to say.

i bite my lip, waiting for his reply. i know i shouldn't be mean to him, but that's just how i cope with things that i dont like. i get mean. he reply comes a second later.

i miss the old you.

my eyes tear up. god, i wish things could go back to the way they used to be. when things were simple.

i miss the old me too. when do you wanna talk?

i cave in. i need him. even if just as a friend, i'll take what i can get at this point.

now. look outside your window.

confused, i jump up and take a peek through my curtains. Ben's standing there, grinning up at me. i wave him inside, and i see him knock on my front door. quickly, i brush my teeth and run a hand through my hair. then i take a casual seat on my bed as if i never moved. i cant very well talk to a smoking hot boy with unbrushed teeth, now can i?

he comes in a moment later, wearing a hoodie and jeans. he looks delicious. "sit down." i say, patting the spot next to me.

he obliges, and i can feel his warmth. god, i just want to lean into his chest and cry some more. seems that i cry a lot these days.

we're silent for what seems like hours. but then he finally speaks.

"why'd you leave last night?"

i shrug, biting my lip and fiddling with loose the ends on my quilt. "ash, we've been friends for ages. why wont you talk to me?" he sounds sad, almost broken. this is not the Ben Bruce that the world knows. its the side that only Danny and I are allowed. not even Jo Jo. 

"i cant Ben. i just cant." i am horrified that my voice is thick with tears. i frantically wipe at my eyes. no no no, this can not be happening. i am not crying in front of him. i cant be. "don't cry." i feel his arms wrap around me from behind, pulling me into his chest. for once, i let myself enjoy it and i breathe him in, memorizing everything about this moment so i can obsess over it later. 

"c'mon, get dressed. let's go to Danny's and get wasted." he pulls away, and i nod, pulling a loose tank top and shorts from my drawers deciding to go braless.i quickly fix my hair and put on a little makeup and pull the clothes on. just before i leave the bathroom i spray on some yummy perfume.

"im ready." i tell him miserably, pulling on my converse. he gets up off my bed, grinning. "stop smiling," i grumble irritably. he only chuckles.

fuck him.