The boy without a smile~Larry

Chapter 1

School The Next Day- Harry POV

"HARRY"
I hear my name being called as soon as I walk into the building. Not by anyone I want either. The one person the doctors have told me to avoid over and over again but it's just so hard to. She is everywhere.

"Hi Taylor. Have you seen Niall or Louis"

"No but I can see your muscular arms"

I rolled my eyes not this again. 

"Taylor you have a boyfriend and I'm gay.Leave me alone"

"Oh come on he won't know let's just have some fun"
She pushes me up against the locker. Flashbacks are running through my mind. I can't do anything I'm frozen. Panic runs through me.
"HEY GET OFF MY GIRLFRIEND YOU TWAT"
Great just what I need. The hero boyfriend to save the day. Note the sarcasm. Does no one in this school know what being gay means. Taylor let's go of me. Finally I'm free I think. Should've known that's not the case.
I'm backed into the lockers again but this time my stomach is against the metal. I can feel his cock against me. I scream. This is exactly the position it happened. It happened because of Taylor. Exactly like this. It's happening again. I can feel a panic attack rising as Taylor's boyfriends fingers dig into my shoulder. I'm going to black out I can feel it.

"Get off him you fooking losah. You have no clue what you are doing to him"

I can faintly hear the voice from the one person apart from the doctors that knew what happened. Not even Niall knew what happened.

"Come on Harry open your eyes"
"Harry"
"Harry"
Huh what's happening
"HARRY GOD DAMN IT OPEN YOUR EYES"
"Gemma?"
"You were screaming in your sleep you idiot"
"It was just a dream?" Confusion lays in my voice.
"Yeah, you wanna talk about it?"
"No it's okay"
Okay this is really weird.
"I thought the dreams were getting better H"
"They were it's probably stress from my last exam"
"Whatever you say H, Try getting back to sleep then you'll need it."
"I will Gem don't worry about me"
"H..."
"Don't Gem I'm fine"
"Okay than Haz I'm going back to sleep. I love you"
"I love you to Gem"

As the door of my bedroom shuts I reach over into my bedside table for my journal. I guess this is why the doctors say I need it.

It's so weird in my dream Louis knew what as happening but that can't be possible. I haven't told anyone about it apart from mum and Gem.  I mean how can I tell Louis. It will make him more depressed than he already is. I just want my Louis back. My sunshine Louis. Maybe I could tell Niall? No. He would probably tell Liam who would then tell Zayn and then the bullying will start all over again.  Well guess it's just me and you then journal. The doctors think that dreams are a result of bullying but Zayn is never in the dreams. It's always something else. In fact the bullying stopped three months before the dreams started. The dreams have been going on since year 9. They were once so bad I needed medication to sleep. The doctors said it would go away in time. When the bullying stops. But don't they know the bullying stopped years ago. Shouldn't they know that. Are they just using that as an excuse. Probably. You know I'm going to find out what's wrong with me. I will. Just like mum wants me to. She tells me to stop skipping my doctors appointments but I can't help it. Louis clearly needs me more. I will find out what is wrong with me after I fix Louis. Louis was always the one to protect me from the bullying. I will forever be thankful. Even if he doesn't talk,dress or act the same anymore. He is still my Louis. Not my favourite Louis though. I'm working to get that one back. You know I've noticed these entries always go back to Louis. I guess it's because I really want my best friend back. I hate that he is hurting and I can't help him. Anyway I'm tired now so I'm going to go back to sleep. Last exam tomorrow. Then I can put my plan in place.

Signing off because apparently that's what people do
All the Love Hazza (that's what Louis used to call me it's just Haz now though)