What If?

chapter one.

People are strange, you think you know them but you really don't. Like you cant tell what there feeling inside. I wish I knew because my life is so confusing. I don't know if I'm coming or going. My life is also hard. I cant act right in front of some people because I'm "too gay".  I have never kissed a boy but I imagine that it is like a movie, the music playing in your head. Your heart beating like a drum. His lips are moist.  I wish I knew who was gay so I could talk to them because I am like the only one in my year who is open. I knew I was since the age of 10, I guess I always knew I was different.

I woke up the usual Saturday morning time 11am and my head was really sore, so I had paracetamol next to my bed on my wooden small table next to my bed. my head has been acting really funny like one minute I would be fine and the next I'm really tired and my head would be pounding.  i'm sure it will get better. I went down the steep stairs and got something to eat and left the house to do my morning run. I went down a beautiful path full of trees and animals. the sun was beaming its golden beams of light at me.  I was really dehydrated so I drank my water. I was really puffed out. Like really puffed out. 10 minutes  later I got to the end of the path and as usual it was peaceful. At the end of the patch there is this beautiful scene. You can see a beautiful stream flowing into the river. and there is a wooden bench.  I want my first kiss to be there. I think I need to kiss someone soon because I am nearly 15.  I can imagine it being wonderful but it has to be with the right person.                                            

I started feeling really dizzy and hot. then I was really shaky.  I felt light headed. I have been getting like this for the last 6 months. I done the most stupid thing I could of done, I ran tried to run home and I felt like I was spinning. the ground was shaking. Then it happened I collapsed...