Believe Me, I Hate You Too [Ziam BoyxBoy]

~ Chapter 3 ~

~ Chapter 3 ~

I sat down on the bed of my room, which was only had moonlight as its light. I was extremely relieved when I knew the five of us were going to a rent house for sleeping, instead of hotel. I didn’t know if I could handle it if we had actually had to stay in hotel during the rest time of this Australia tour. The fans were too much. Of course I loved our fans, but in my rest time, I wished I hadn’t had to meet anymore fans after meeting thousands of them during the day. And I likely didn’t get what I wished if we’d had to stay in hotel.

I watched the half moon from behind my window for a minute, before finally lay down on my bed. The moon was behind my head, so I still could enjoy the moonlight that passed through the curtain-less window. Sometimes, in a moment like this, I felt like a werewolf… watching moon’s beauty with no intention… Just… watching. But honestly, moon was like an unspeaking friend to me. It saw me in my low… it saw me in my high… it was there when I slept in happiness… and it was there when that time, -for the first time in my life-, I cried quietly until I fell asleep in hatred to myself… it was there, hanging on the night sky, when he made all the happiness in my childhood went away… it was always there, even if it was hidden by Earth’s shadow.

That was why I’d always chosen a room with a window. And that also was why my room went absolutely dark whenever it came to new moon. Because… I needed to see moon. Moon was like my friend. And I needed friend. Everyone in this world hated me, so, until I found one who didn’t, until I found one who could love me, I guessed moon would be my friend… Hmm, did I sound creepy? Umm, maybe that was just my feeling.

The moonlight kept shining on my face, -if anyone saw me, maybe I looked like a vampire now-, as my thought lingered on the words ‘Everyone in this world hated me’. As the words echoed in my brain, my mind automatically wandered to him.

Him who hated me so much, even though until now, I didn’t know why.

I wanted to stay awake a little longer to think about him and all what he did to me… all his cruelness, all what he put me through… But I was too tired. After he disturbed my whole day, and my whole life, I couldn’t let him disturb me anymore in this night, by him appearing in my mind. I let the moonlight lulled me by the dim light it offered me, by the natural peace it gave me, as I decided to close my eyes and let sleep engulf me.

But damn it, right when I was about to fall asleep, my door was knocked!

“Who is it?” I asked in sleepy-angry voice, as I unwillingly opened my eyes to give a dirty look to my door, as if the person behind that door could see me. I was so tired! Couldn’t anyone just let me sleep?

Silence.

Ha! Maybe this person understood that my angry voice was caused by his disturbance. I just hoped so, and also hoped that he’d left.

Yet of course I was wrong! The door was knocked again.

“Come in!” I said louder, couldn’t help the slight harsh tone which came out.  I’d decided not to repeat my earlier question, to make this possibly-turned-out-to-be-a-conversation happening last shorter.

The door was opened and immediately, intense lights from outside my room radiated in. I automatically covered my eyes with my hand, protecting them from the drastic change of light exposure. I heard steps entered my room and the door was closed. Maybe it was safe for me to open my eyes now-

“I’m cold.”

That voice made my eyes dilated. Impossible! It mustn’t be… Oh God, it was him!

“So?” I asked in a fake calmness. I underlined: Fake.

“Can I sleep here?”

I glared disbelievingly,-I couldn’t see his eyes from here- but seeing him standing still over there facing me, I guessed he was serious. Huh, as if I would willingly let him kill me in my sleep! I sprung my hands as wide as possible, my left leg moved slightly too, to show him the most apparent sign of my answer that THERE WAS NO WAY HE COULD SLEEP HERE!