Contemplations of a Disturbed Soul

Love

You smile your paper smile
Writ with words that are not yours
And you hold my breath in this dark night
Till I cannot breathe anymore.
When cold winds wash upon me
You’re the fire that gets too close
Trying to save me from my darkness
You burn me all the more.
You are but broken now
Shield of grass, armour of bones
And when I rise to fight myself
You can protect me no more.
You caress in your empty embrace-
My body, which is but yours
You’ve loved me for far too long now
But my wars are yours no more.
You and your comforting words
Pretty little lies, nothing more
In your prison of warm embrace,
I cannot live anymore.
So, lie back now
Let the waves break down your doors
And let me sail out into the storm
With my burdens that you bore.
Rest now
Don’t be afraid of death no more
My life has leeched yours out now
What is left is all yours.
Mother, you didn’t teach me to fight
You fought all battles on your own
Now I’m all alone in this warring sea
How will I get back to shore?
Pale as darkness, white as light
I'm but a weak facsimile of yours
You’ve given me all your love
Yet I don’t know what love is anymore.
You’re gone now
I've left you in darkness evermore
I broke you by leaving you
Now I’ll find you no more.
Your paper smile is mine now
Yet my paper crumbles before I get ashore
I drowned at sea, mother. You didn’t teach me to swim
Now I am nothing anymore.
When your safe prison could hold me no longer,
And I broke those lovely bars of yours
Mother, did you make me weak
By guarding me at home?
We’ve loved each other so much,
Did we mean to hurt us so?
When your love left me frail and broken
And mine gorged on that soul of yours,
Mother, I will never know.
I've taken all from you
Now I come to beg for more
Take me to the darkness I left you in,
Mother, oh mother take me home to you.
I’ll leave you nevermore.
~