Back For You

Voicemail

Zayn’s P.O.V.

I was completely honest with the police. After all, I had no idea as to where Katherine had disappeared off to and I was just as worried as everyone else was. They had asked me some routine questions such as: When was the last time you spoke to her? Saw her? But at the end the police did tell me that I am a suspect in this investigation and I will be until some answers were uncovered. I was too upset over this whole situation to even defend myself.

Once the cops’ small interrogation was over, the rest of the boys were allowed back into the hotel room. You could tell how worried they were for me.

I sat on the bed and covered my face with my hands and shut my eyes. It’s still unimaginable knowing that someone I love is missing. I can’t comprehend any of this.

I feel a hand placed on my shoulder and hear Niall apologize, “I’m sorry Zayn.”

I didn’t bother shaking his hand off or arguing that they shouldn’t be the ones that are sorry. I just sat there on the edge of the bed with tears running down my face. Niall takes his hand off and I feel someone sit on the bed right next to me. I wipe my tears away with my hands and take a deep breath.

Harry is the one who sat beside me. He places his arm around me and comforts me. Harry is here for me even when I treated him like crap all because of my jealousy. There were a lot of moments in throughout our friendship where he had been there for me and I didn’t realize that up until now. This moment shows me how much more I need to appreciate my friendship not only with Harry but with Liam, Louis, and Niall too.

“We’re here for you Zayn,” Harry reassures me. I nod and give him a weak smile.

I needed to find some time for myself. I was thankful for the boy’s support, but I needed to be myself for a bit to think over everything and pull myself together.

I look around at the boys all standing there quietly, waiting for me to speak making sure they wouldn’t say anything that would break me. “I spoke to the police and they have me as a suspect because of my how close I was to K-,” I stop there having trouble saying her name.

The boys notice my struggle and Louis decides to speak up, “Mate, you just get some rest. We’ll talk about this tomorrow okay?”

It was true that I need to rest. It had been one long night. But right now I needed to get out of here and be alone. “I need to go out and get some air. I’ll be back in a bit.”

“You want me to come?” Liam asks me with a pitiful look on his face. I shake my head and tell them all I need some space tonight.

I grab my mobile, car keys, and exit the hotel room.

. . . . . .  . .

I walk down the empty streets in the middle of the night. I had pulled out a cigarette out my pocket and lit it up. I stuck it into my mouth and inhaled letting the killer relax me.

Even at one in the morning the streets in Los Angeles were busy. I was taking slow steps and observing the city hoping it will get my mind of things. But it wasn’t working of course.

My mind kept taking me back to Katherine. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I was desperate in finding out what happened to her. The thought of her being in any danger at all made my stomach turn and guilt over whelm me. If I had been honest with her and been a good boyfriend in the first place, she wouldn’t have been missing.

It’s almost unbearable knowing that I may never see her again and that I have lost her forever. The last time I had spoken to her we were breaking up. I shake my head and sigh at how stupid I was to have let her go so easily.

I find a bench and take a seat on it. I had been walking a good mile at this point and figured I should be heading back. I wanted to rest my legs a bit before walking all the way back to the hotel.

 I closed my eyes picturing Katherine and I together. I was torturing myself by doing so. I pictured her beautiful smile and tried to remember her adorable laughter that I love so much. I look up at the dark sky in L.A. There were no stars in sight. That’s what all the lights and pollution does in this city…It made me think back at the time when Katherine and I watched the stars above our heads in Ireland. It was so beautiful just like she is.

I start to picture the time we were in Ireland together. Both of us were having so much fun and we both did something that to me felt like we sealed our love. That was the first time we made love.

I have had sex before her just as the band was becoming more famous, but all of it was meaningless. With Katherine though, it meant something completely different. She is someone who I truly love and making love to her was something special.

I began to miss her even more going back through all the memories we shared together.

My thoughts were piling up and I needed to release them somehow. I suddenly got an idea. I threw my cigarette to the floor and crushed it with my foot.

I slowly took out my phone and dialed her number.

My heart beat faster per ring. I began chewing on the inside of lip nervously. What if she actually picks up the phone? For a second I felt hope until it when straight to her voicemail.

A tear streamed down my face when I heard her voice.

Hellloooo! It’s Kat! Sorry I couldn’t pick up! Leave a message and I’ll get back to you A-SAP! (giggles)

BEEP.

I pause, hesitant on what I’m about to say. I hadn’t exactly thought about what I wanted to say. A few seconds in I breathe and start speaking with a shaky voice.

“K-Katherine I miss you. I miss you so fucking much. I miss your adorable laughter and your bright green eyes. I miss the way we held hands and when I held you in my arms. More importantly, I miss the way you make me feel when we’re together. When we are together, it seems like anything is possible. You make me feel happy. I love everything about you. Nobody compares to you. You are my one and only love. Kat, I’m so sorry for being so dishonest and horrible towards you. I regret letting myself let you go so easily. I never should have let this happen. You don’t have to forgive me even though I’m begging for you forgiveness. All I want is for you to hear this and for you to come back. I can’t move on without you Katherine. I need you back. We all do. I love you.”

The message ended there because the message was taking too long so it ended. I was crying again. I have so much more to say.

I get up and start walking back to the hotel. I walk as I wipe tears away. It was no use because I still kept thinking of her. My heart is broken.

I walk silently and take out another cigarette. I light it up and again and inhale hoping it’ll calm me down more before I’m in the hotel again. I exhale the smoke and bite my lip again thinking about what may have possibly happened to her.

When I finally reach my hotel room I slowly open the door trying my best not to wake Liam and Harry up. I quietly walk into the room, kick my shoes off and decide to sleep on the couch instead of disturbing Liam’s sleep by jumping into bed with him.

I couldn’t sleep of course. My mind was still wide awake. I shifted around on the couch trying to make myself fall asleep. Finally after lying awake on the couch for two restless hours I drift away into a deep sleep. 

A/N: hello guys! it's been a whileeeeeeeeeee huh?.... sorry bout that :(