Life in a Nutshell

Digging in

          Have you ever found your self sitting alone, and irritable? You try to find the meaning of everything because you often feel as though you may not have a place here with everyone else, or that you simply just dont want to be here anymore only because you just don't want to be. To you, every day is the same exact day without change or variety. Well, in your mind more than likely understanding the meaning of it all will help you find a place somewhere, here.

          When you feel this way, you'll often bounce back to normal within a few hours if not the next day, but it is in these moments that we lose a part of who we are. You lose a part of what makes you, you. Your not alone during these moments either as you might think.

          Statistics found through a study performed by the CDC (Center for Disease Control) show that 9% of the United States population suffers from depression, 9% of the United States is 28,759,458 people. But did anyone knock on your door specifically and question your happiness? For the most people who didn't become a statistic the obvious answer is no. Just like you and millions of others, you refrain from letting others know about how you are feeling because the weight that you hold inside of your self is a weight that you don't want to lay onto another person, or that maybe no one would understand. In theory this sounds right to you, and it sounds respectful. But is it necessarily respectful to your self as an individual? Someone who also has a beating heart, who has goals, aspirations, and a platinum brick road in life that you just fail to see because of the shroud that you lay over your eyes? Well if you put it that way, it doesn't sound fair no matter how much you want to say that it just doesn't matter. And by it, that means you. You matter, and without you here, expect that it would kill an entire life time of inspiration, good memories, laughs, stories, and opportunities.

          What is the root cause of this feeling that you are going through? Well, the question is simple to ask but the answer can also be just as easily found. Inside of each of us is a little voice in our head. Not the loud one that you hear before you repeat it aloud, but rather the smaller yet voice that works in cooperation with your intuitive senses, your gut feelings. Sometimes if not most of the time we get a gut feeling that we should do something. However regularly some of us prefer to ignore that feeling and act as rebels against what we really crave. An example of this is; "Mom is coming home soon, the house is a complete pigsty, her son Tyler knows that she will be upset, and he will be without an allowance since he didn't clean it considering all of his free time while she was away. Tyler has this feeling in his stomach that she will be upset and he acts on it. In ten minutes Tyler cleans the entire social space of the house and is feeling tired, in the other room he sees that he forgot to take in some messy silverware to the sink, but being so tired he loosely says screw it. A short amount of time later mom is home and compliments Tyler on how nice the house looks, she was feeling at ease and was ready to award Tyler some money for his effort, that is until she notices the dirty silverware left on the table. Tyler was without his money, and had to deal with moms attitude."

          The moral of this story goes like such, Tyler acted on his first gut feeling, the most obvious feeling that if he didn't clean the house at all, Hell hath no fury like an upset mother coming home from grocery shopping. His mistake was that the subtle messages his gut was giving him to finish the job was responded to by saying "screw it". Tyler knew deep within that mom would be upset and relied solely on the point that he cleaned the rest of the house to appease her terrifying mood swing, and still receive some pay out. Per usual his gut instinct, his internal intuition proved right in the moment that he denied it simply because he felt like he didn't want to follow it. This is the smaller voice, the voice mentioned, that we tend to often ignore after acting on the larger or louder voice.

          The question at hand was what is making you feel so terrible? Well, as you sit there, dormant in your little space, blasting your sad songs from one side of your head to the other, all of us, not just you, tend to focus so much harder on the upsetting and detrimental dilemma of a situation we are facing at the moment, that in essence we shadow out the very real logical thinking that is trying to grasp your attention and spark a very real resolution to your "end of the line" emotional issue. When all else seems to be internally gone, then I encourage you to take a gaze into the mirror and find that what is staring back at you is the most irreplaceable gift that you have, and that gift would be you. You are life, and you can never be replaced.