outbreak tales

care

It's been a couple of weeks since the three of them returned to Jackson. Jesse's buried next to Joel, the man he looked up to the most aside from his own father. All the village attended and the mass cried.

Except Maria.

After the ceremony everybody headed to Seth's. They all missed Tommy's leadership, Ellie's puns and Dina's joy. The whole community felt like this sort of moment should happen more often.

"Why don't we eat together once a week?", a villager suggested over dinner, "catch up on each other's lives, y'know, get to know all the gossip."

The mass laughed. And everybody raised their glasses in agreement. Everybody smiled warmly at each other.

Except for Maria.

A month and a half after Jesse's burial, Thommy headed to Ellie and Dina's to check on them. It was a wonder to witness the miracle of life on the young girl. He could see she was glowing and Ellie's giving her all to patch herself up. After all, they were about to become a family.

Joel would be proud.

He was walking around when he notices his feet taking him to where he calls home. Maria's room was lit so he came in.

"Knock knock."

He spots platinum hair over the mirror. She probably had just gotten out of the shower.

"Tommy", she greets without looking, "Night."

"G'night."

He stands there with his nervous hands in his pockets as she walks around wrapped in a towel, another one on the top of her head, loose blonde locks on her cheeks and nape. He probably looked for too long because now the woman was staring at him.

"Uh, I...", he clears his throat and looks beyond the window, "I was meanin' to ask if you wanna company", he points outside, "you know, dinner."

She finishes buttoning up her shirt, "Thanks but no thanks. Not hungry."

"But I only saw you had breakfast today", he scratches his beard as he moved closer, "Y'know, someone taught me we gotta eat every few hours and when I didn't", he chuckles, "I'd get my ass kicked."

"This someone certainly taught you many other stuff", she closes her wardrobe, "and you definitely did not listen to every one of them."

The conversation was getting nowhere. When the woman crossed his path without looking at him, his calloused hand gently grabbed her by the arm.

"Hey now..."

"Tommy".

"We gotta talk", he continues, "Like, proper talk."

Maria sighs and stays quiet. He looks at her neck and it saddens him, "You're not wearing it."

"I want nothing from that damned place."

"I noticed", he lets out a sad laugh, "Not even me, it seems."

"Tommy, please."

"I miss you. I miss you, Maria."

She finally looks at him. She spends a couple seconds recording his features, facing the new ones such as the couple scars, faded bruises and the blind eye. Her heart clenches at her chest as sorrow slips over.

No more, she reminds herself, nobody deserves my tears anymore.

Tommy's hand glides down to her lower back, his hot breath on her ear. She backs off.

"I'm done", she whispers and looks at him, her eyes fighting tears back, "When you walked out of Jackson, when you left me that letter, you ended it."

"Maria..."

"We've been through a lot", she continues, "I've been through a lot. Since Joel and Ellie showed up at our door, I grew to love them. And although you've done things against my will, we stood together. But going on that suicide of a mission? There...", her voice breaks a little, "There I saw I had my husband no more."

Tommy says nothing, looking at his own hands as though they still were tainted with blood. This whole journey was based on hatred and violence - things he'd decided to keep in the past as he fled the Fireflies. The Wolves, the Scars: they were the perpetuation of his former group and its misconceived values. In the end, they all were no better than FEDRA. They were no better than anyone. Including himself.

"You didn't have the right", she hiccups against her pride and will, "You forced me to be the widow of a living man!"

Since he got back to Jackson, he didn't feel like himself. Sure, the years got him in its own ways, he wasn't so agile nor had the same energy compared to his militant time. But now? He's lost an eye, part of his mobility and the chance to properly avenge his big brother. Truly, what had the whole mess in Seattle meant? He lost Jesse, he didn't question Ellie's slaughter, he himself had killed dozen men and women fighting for a stupid cause just like he's done once. And in the end, did he get to Abby, the one who held the golf club? No. Absolutely not. Did killing all the woman's friends get him satisfaction, fulfilment? Momentarily. Yet, he didn't lose his older brother by a few hours. He lost him for life. Did it pay off, at all?

"I see."

He could see now. He lost everything he had. Certainly Joel would have done the same thing and surely he'd be up there hovering him and yelling "you stubborn asshole, an eye for an eye might only get ya kill'd...", and Joel wouldn't be able to listen to him, amidst all the screams, gunshots and deaths. Joel would lose it all. Just like he did.

The Millers being balky little shites.

"You don't have to leave", he looks at Maria as her words bring him back, "There's plenty of room here. We can settle things down without people being alarmed. I seriously don't need the attention."

"Hm", he nods, "Me neither."

"Good."

"I'll busy myself on patrols and be more present on the hunting shifts. I won't get in your way."

"Tommy."

"Yeah?"

"I love you", she holds a finger up, not allowing interruption, "I may still love you but I need some healing. We both do. And I can't do it with you by my side."

"I- I understand, really."

"Good. Deep down I know you get it. I know there's some thinking going on in the thick head of yours."

"Yeah, the bullet didn't get that deep", they laugh awkwardly, "I better go", she nods as he reaches the stair, "I'll be around."

She rests a hand in her chest as he goes down, "I know you will."