Page After Page

Chapter four

A/N
The picture is not mine.

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******Annie's POV******

I hear pounding from the hallway. Armin is screaming my name, his voice getting more raspy and raw as he continues yelling. I try to get the bangingsound out of my head, but it goes in vain.

"Stop Armin. You can't make my choices in life different from what it already is." I say quietly. The screaming continues. Maybe Armin didn't hear me, or he DID hear me, but still yells through everything. I sigh, walking to the door. I put my forehead on the door and along as the palm of my hand.

"Armin......I'm sorry. Please don't make this harder for me than it already is. I don't want you to be sad. I don't want you to see me........dead."

I try to hold back tears; yet a small drip of salty water escapes my eye and streams down my cheek. I wipe the bitter liquid away with the sleeve of my hand and place my other hand on the door.

"Annie! Please don't go! Even if you do say that I need to be happy, the only way I can be happy is to be with you! Annie! I'm begging you!"

I slowly shake my head. "Armin." I whispered out.

"Annie..." I heard Armin responded. I can hear soft sobbing outside the bathroom, and his banging on the door only turned into little scratches from his nails.

I let go of the door and walk to the medicine cabinet. I open the small door to find razors my father uses to shave his facial hair. I get one razor from the tip, making a little cut on my finger. I wince at the pain , and from that little noise, I can hear Armin screaming louder than his original scream at the beginning. He bangs louder and harder, his screams making my heart hurt. I ignore Armin, and take off my shirt.

Ugh. I look horrid. The past scratch marks turned into large scars that haven't healed quite yet. I can see my ribs, clearly due to me starving myself, but I know I can never look pretty like those woman in the magazines. My breats are too small, I don't think that even if I have a baby, my chest won't carry enough milk like the other mothers.

I cringe at the sight, but I know I won't be in this body for long.

I point the sharp razor on my stomach and get ready. Then, all of a sudden, Armin stops what he's doing.

"Annie, before you......go......i just want to say that......even though you see yourself like a wild animal or a monster, I see you as something beautiful. Mmagnificent. When your in another place, please remember that. And......I love you. I loved you ever since I saw you. Even if you have depression, even if you have an eating problem, even if you try and commit suicide every singe day of your life, I want you to know that I am here for you. Even if your gone, your ethreal face will be engraved into my mind and I will see you when ever I pass by any place you have walked on, what ever you touched, what ever you looked at. Your memories are my memories, your pain is my pain, your problems are my problems. If you ever tell me that I need to move on, I will never follow that. Even if that is your last wish, even if you hate me for it, I will love you, and only you."

I feel tears streaming down my face. I try and shake it off, but more tears just come straming down. Was what all Armin said true? Why would he say those things? Was it because he just wants me alive? Or is it much more?

I decided. I'm sorry, Armin. Armin Arlert.

"I love you."

I slash my stomach. Red blood pours out, dripping to the floor. I smiled at my actions. Of course it hurt like hell, but I didn't scream in agony. it felt good. In a hell-ish way. I drop the little dagger and fall I hold on to the rim of the sink to try and keep balance, but end up falling anyway. I try to laugh, but tears arise instead. I wipe the salty substance with my bloody hand, but it only mixed my tears. I mentally shrug it off. I don't really care. I'm not going to have any more time on earth to clean up anyway.