To love

prologue

I've had enough of  this facade, I couldn't keep it up anymore it was time to just tell them my mind.

I walked up to them, all they do is talk and talk and never pay attention to their surroundings or fellow friends. Eas I just looking for comradeship from them? No. From all those guys who probably didn't even notice me. The guy from Ice creamery, the one from the beach and all the other ones.

I hate myself and everyone and myself for it. I needed it wasn't fair but I flew too close to the sun and couldn't bare the fail that costed my life.

The street lights felt blinding and I felt sick just thinking of how happy they are. No. They just think they're happy but deep inside all they want is for everyone else to leave them alone and lead their own lives.

But was I really that mad at them? Maybe it wasn't anger but fear of losing everthing and everyone that's driving me mad. Or the fact that I'm still here.
No matter what I don't like it and just want it to be out there, even if it would just make things more dry and awkward.

I finally came up to them like a toddler mad at their parents for not buying them a toy. Was I about to say my mind or should I just keep my mouth shut and throw one of those "I'm okay, don't worry about me." Smiles?

I wasn't even walking straight anymore, I tried to but it was visible that I was struggling. "Fuck." I thought to myself as i fell on to the ground. Maybe I shouldn't have drank that much on the party. What even was that stuff o drank? It didn't taste right at all.