TORN

Chapter 6

Hannah

Present day 2020
I shuddered as I climbed out the shower, remembering how, at 5am the morning after I found out, I had gathered my things quietly and left his house for the final time.

I went completely off his radar then. Ignoring him and all his attempts at contact. He would turn up everywhere begging and pleading. Calling my Mum, Mollie, all of my friends and half of my family. It was shameful for me to admit what had happened to any of them.

I always made sure I wasn't alone with him whenever he turned up wherever I was, so I couldn't listen to him and have him change my mind. It was over. Done. He had hurt me for the last time. I couldn't get past infidelity, I just couldn't. I'd been loyal through everything else, all of the shit over the years. The fact he put his dick in someone else was too much for me. I couldn't get past it. I couldn't quite believe he had done this.

Our bodies were so in tuned with one another's, we were obsessed and couldn't get enough of the other. I had never even thought of another man sexually, Liam was everything to me. I equated sex with Liam and I knew, although he wasn't a virgin by any means when we got together, that sex to him was me.

He had broken that and in turn, broken me. The insecure part of me felt like I wasn't enough for him anymore if he could do that.

My alarm went off at 6am. I had fallen asleep straight after my shower so when I woke up my hair was bushy and untamed. I looked in the wardrobe mirror. I looked terrible, I had a splitting headache. Probably the wine I thought.

I dragged myself out of bed and hoped in the shower. I washed my face thoroughly, hoping it would wash away how shit I felt and looked.

I wandered to my wardrobe and took out a fresh grey pencil skirt, a black silky cami vest top and some tights. I got dressed quickly and threw my hair into a high ponytail.

I applied light make up and stared at myself. To my horror my neck was littered with love bites from my moment of passion with Liam.

Fuck sake!

I started to apply layer after layer of concealer onto them. The makeup dulled it a bit but there was still faint outlines. A warmth spread through my whole body as I touched them.

My breathing increased when I thought of Liam pounding in and out of me relentlessly, his broad shoulders and strong arms holding me up. I shook my head violently. Stop it Hannah I can't think like this anymore.

To my relief, Johnny wasn't in today. Thank god, I thought. I was too tired for anymore dealings with people fucking with my emotions.

Sean was his usual cheery self. Cracking jokes, telling me I looked lovely, despite the fact I didn't. He was trying to impress me all day. It was very refreshing and I really enjoyed it. It wasn't complicated one bit.

I worked through lunch that day, eating sandwiches at my desk. I wasn't in the mood to be social. I just wanted to go home and curl up in bed.

My phone rang on my drive home. I glanced down and seen it was Mollie.

'Hiya Mol you alright?' I asked.

'Yeah seeing how you were. You were in bed when I got in, you feeling ok?'. I could tell she was also driving home. My lip quivered.

'Oh Mol, my heads everywhere. I slept with Liam'. I became emotional then. I was usually quite a strong person, I barely cried unless something was really wrong but the last twenty four hours all's I had done was cry. What was wrong with me?

'What?! When?! Her voice was high pitched.

'Oh Mol I've fucked up big time! I don't know what to do anymore!' I whimpered pathetically.