𝑻𝑾𝑶𝑫//𝑿𝑿𝑿𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑨𝑪𝑰𝑶𝑵

*1*

I'm feeling like I'm dying, again but I can't figure out where the pain is coming from this time around.
I'm not insane like my parents think I am, I just have pain that won't go away. Ive tried everything that the doctors my parents have taken me to have prescribed, it doesn't help at all. I've considered killing myself on multiple occasions after I go back into a deep state of depression.

Those thoughts are exactly what my doctor say not to do but its what I'm used to thinking after something happens that I cant deal with anymore. I don't like the feelings, but they have never gone away, they just sit there. but sometimes when I just sit alone the pain evolves into something more.
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"Go take a walk or a drive, sweetie. You need to calm down." My mom says rubbing my shoulders. My dad and I are always fighting, I swear he picks fights with me because he knows what it'll do to my self esteem. I sigh heavily and pull my keys from my hoodie pocket and stand up. "Mom I'll be back. I don't know when so, please don't ask or call and don't tell Rick I'm gone." I walk over to my open bedroom window and step my leg out. "Andi, you don't have to go that way." My mom tries to assure me, but I just shake my head and duck my head to go under my window. I know I can't drive anywhere, the last time I took a breather and took my car my dad found me and had me taken to jail. In claims that I stole the car and was going to do something incriminating in his name. So I guess I gonna have to walk to the place I've always took my short breathers.

I found out about this place months ago, its about a 30 minute walk from where I live and a 15 ish minute drive. When I found out about this place I was high and accidentally stumbled upon it, it's peaceful and soothing, its also a cliff. Its not a cliff like in the movies you see this one is more realistic, there's a tree, lots of bushes and flowers. I guess you could say it's pretty but some wouldn't call it that because to me it's a place for me to sit with my thoughts and contemplate all my problems.

"Who are you?" I ask looking at the boy that was standing next to me. His hoodie covered up his face so I couldn't see his face fully but he talked down to me. "I'm nobody, who're you?" He plants himself down next to me and puts his hands in his lap and looks down. "I'm your average stoner." My head stays down, looking at nothing in particular before I feel myself drift off. ( I can't be the only person this actually happens to, fr though I'll be staring at sum and I fall in a deep weird sleeps and things)

"Hey." I feel someone touching me kinda rough. My eyes shoot open and I see the boy standing over me again.
"What?!" I snap and yell, suddenly. I covered my mouth because I didn't mean to yell.

He gave me a dark look and I immediately looked down at the ground, still feeling his stare on me.
I didn't mean to yell at him, its just a bad habit I need to kick.