↞watercolors↠ ||m.c.

june

hey guys i'm having a friend over tonight so we can watch the one direction movie bc she wants to see it haha she doesn't know what she's getting herself into o.o

elouise madeline beatrice stevens

the little green buds on the trees rustle lightly in the breeze to the rhythm of my pencil scraping the paper. i don't really know what i'm drawing, but the weather just got me feeling inspired today.

spring is in full swing by now and i find it beautiful. i do like sweater weather and curling up by a fire, but honestly, i find just about anything lovely.

i gather up my sketch book and pencils and decide to walk to the park, taking in all the sights. the fresh smell of rain dwindles in the air and the damp sidewalks glisten in the sunlight. a muddy semi truck trailing it's polluting gas shit behind it makes me cough lightly. i adjust the fedora that sits on my head and look up at the clear blue sky. fog hangs low on the mountains in the horizon, creating a sight very pleasing to the eyes.

when the park comes into view, i walk to the nearest bench and sit, straightening my short chiffon dress.

just as i begin to sketch lazily, my phone vibrates. fabulous. when i see a picture of my stunning friend linsey flash across the screen, my face lights up.

"linsey?" i answer anxiously.

"um actually, this is her sister," the unfamiliar voice on the other line replies.

my body tenses and my head perks up. i set my sketchbook and pencil to the side and listen intently to the dread filled silence. my head is overflowing with worries about my best friend. is everything okay? was there an accident? i hope she's not injured.

"yes," i say weakly, "is everything okay?"

i hear a shaky sigh and my heart stops for seconds, then decides to make up for the lost beats, then some.

"actually.. "

and the rest was a blur. my whole world came crashing down around me. i hear traumatizing sobs on the other end and the word 'suicide' repeated again and again. i didn't even realize the hot tears rolling down my cheeks until one splashes into my lap.

i can't walk home. i can't call a cab. i can't get a bus. i can't call a friend to come pick me up. not in my current state, at least.

so i don't do any of those things. i curl up on the park bench and sob, letting the numbness in my heart spread to the rest of my body.

i'm not sure how long i lay there, not caring about the strange looks from children and passerby's. even the sun, a raging ball of fire directly above me, can't help the chills i keep getting. I really did think linsey was finally okay. apparently not.

"are you okay?"

the words seem to come from thin air and nearly send me flailing over the back of that fvcking uncomfortable bench. my head whips around and my gaze shoots in many directions.

a young boy who looks a year or two older than me towers over my crumpled body on the bench and i decide to sit up.

"mind if i sit?" he asks and i shrug, granting him space next to me. he lifts my fragile leather bound book into his large, masculine hands and studies my drawings, flipping through the worn pages.

"these are lovely," he says quietly, handing my book back.

"so are you okay?" he tries again and i shake my head, as multiple more tears streak down my face.