Flower Shop [ Sahyo ]

Used to be your girl

It was June 11th, and I hadn't spoken to sana since.

I was going to ask her how her day was a few times between those days, but every time I decided not to, it wasn't worth it. She obviously didn't want to talk to me.

The fact that Sana didn't want to talk to me made me feel terrible. My stomach seemed to constantly be in knots, and my mind was rushing with thoughts, yet I still couldn't think. I felt numb and emotional at the same time, just at the thought of her being mad at me, and she wasn't even really officially my girlfriend.

Was this love? The constant fear of them being upset with you that makes you feel like you're being crushed under bricks? The itch for them to text you just one phrase to assure you that you're not doing something wrong? I spent so much time worrying about if Sana was okay that I didn't think about if I was okay. Was I living in love... or was I living in fear? Love wasn't supposed to bring out the worst of peoples' anxiety. The fact I felt this way was like a twisted reward. It proved I cared, but did I care too much?

I wanted to go somewhere to clear my head. For the seventh time that week. It was too much. Was I supposed to feel this way? The constant need to focus my attention on something else. Because if I didn't, a million thoughts of every possibility flooded my mind. My train of thought was thrown off because of my emotions. And honestly? I was tired of living with the constant feeling that something could go terribly wrong, and it was happening right now but I didn't know it.

It wasn't healthy to care about Sana to the point that I don't care about myself. But I was in love. I couldn't help it. It wasn't Sana's fault, was it? I was the one being an anxious bitch. Did that make it my fault? I didn't know.

I didn't know anything anymore. My feelings blinded me. So, I picked up the phone and sent that text message, no matter the possibility of negative consequences that filled my head.

Jihyo: Sana? Are you mad at me? I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left, I know, but I'm coming home soon...

She was typing. My eyes filled with tears already.

Sana: I'm not mad, Angel.

An ocean of relief came over me. My heart seemed to rise. All that mattered was that sana wasn't mad at me. It was okay. We'd figure it out.

I decided to not think about it and play some music so my playlist played some kpop song idk who is the idol but i know that song

Anyway

At played and i enjoyed the song until that part came..

After the relationship, romance, emotion
There's breakup, tears, regret, longing

'Solo lyrics by bp jennie'

i can feel my tears. why I'm so emotional today??

The question is : is that what will happen between me and sana?