The Perfect Day

PART I: AESON

02.02.2020 (Wed)

Grief; it's the emotion you get when you've lost a loved one. The type of sorrow that swallows you by the very own dark hole that you have made. Excruciating, don't you think? To feel as if everything that has revolved around you seemed to slowly wither within sight. Death unwillingly lingers the less you think of it.

It was easy before to say that I have encountered death on several occasions here on out, but it's no longer compared to when it involves those that you think are worth saving. Easier to wrap it up than to grasp it wholly.

Today would've been the day my life changed forever. Tomorrow could've been the start of my endless days unfolding with the feel of her by my side. Right now should've been the time where I could embrace and open the present. But that present is no longer worth the wait to open it.

Today I found myself endlessly lurking around white halls, floor by floor of St. Raphael's. In every corner and in every step, I tried to forget but I couldn't. I tried to pause and go back but I couldn't. I tried everything and I couldn't. I didn't have a choice.

This is the present, and I had no choice but to force myself in it.

The thoughts eventually subsided by the sound of the hospital bell. The unwavering yet distressed sound of the lady's announcement suddenly stirred the movement of the few people here in the corridors of the 15th floor, as if to sense people's faltering energy at this late hour.

There's thirty minutes left before the clock strikes twelve. I slowed to a halt and exhaled to release my pique. I should be home by now taking a breather before orchestrating a surgery tomorrow. Twelve hours in the operating room without a proper amount of sleep is like preparing to gamble life on the edge of the cliff.

Though as much as I want to make a move for it, the back of my mind's making a bargain that going home may not be worth it. Work here in the Philippines can be exhausting when you don't get enough rest. It's what you get for wasting your time on unnecessary wasted time.

"Doc, hindi pa po ba kayo uuwi?"

Sam asked me as she started settling down in the nurse's station, holding a hot steaming mug after her rounds here on the 15th floor. She's one of our resident nurses, and also one of the only few good friends I have around here. The late nights take a toll on most of the employees here, but she still manages to stay energetic as if she swallowed an energizer battery.

"Diba bawal sa'yo ang kape?" I said.

Sam glared at me while I was staring at her mug  ynow powdered with coffee from the Kopiko 3-in-1 sachet. "Ako yung nagtatanong tas sasagutan mo ako ng tanong?"

"Sorry naman po, ma'am." I said as I held up my hands, pretending that I was in a moment of arrest.

"Ikaw talaga Aeson, palabiro."

"Binibiro ka na nga lang, nagrereklamo ka pa?"

She didn't bother answering the question. "Ano pa ba kasi ginagawa mo rito? Anong oras na, tas may naka-schedule pa sa'yong surgery mamayang umaga." she said, now staring at me with a look of concern and disbelief while stirring her fresh cup of coffee.

"Same as you. Duty."

She looked at me disapprovingly this time as she started to take hold of the nearest clipboard and skimmed through the papers. "Wala ka namang scheduled na duty ngayon oras, ah. Actually, wala ka ngang dapat scheduled duty ngayon."

"Sam, seryoso ka ba?"

There was a  pause. After letting go of those words, she soon realized what I meant. She took a hint that I was slightly annoyed, her face darkened and she lowered down her head both looking shameful and embarrassed.