Mountain Rose

10. Pride, Loneliness, and Longing

"Some day, when I long for these moments, I hope you feel the same way."

Apink, That Spring, This Autumn

"Someone seems to be in a good mood," Viscount Kim commented, raising an eyebrow as he entered the library, "Is this one of those rare moments you come here earlier than I do?"

Min Yoongi looked up from the pile of books in front of him. "I just wanted to make sure that you already prepared for your classes with Eunji."

"As if!" he scoffed, "Let me guess your real intention. You are catching up on your own reading so that you will be able to ask many of my questions later when she's here."

Yoongi shrugged. "In my defense, I'm being a good student. So that, you know, you don't have to tell me what a lost cause I am in my work. I don't want Eunji to think that I'm stupid."

"Let me give you some advice, my dearest Highness. Pretense is no way into a girl's heart. If I were her, I would rather you make a fool of yourself than pretend to be the master of the universe," came the reply, "I had thought my moral philosophy lessons that you covet so much already taught you that."

The prince smiled sheepishly. "Of course I know that. I did not forget anything you told me."

They stared at each other, a few moments passing silently.

Yoongi's eyes darted away. "Alright, perhaps I forgot a little bit."

The viscount let out a little frustrated huff. "I sometimes don't know whether you want to break your curse as much as I want you to," he muttered, walking to one of the many shelves, bringing out a pile of books tied up with string.

He took the pile and placed it in front of him. "These are her materials for now. I will adjust it according to how fast she picks up the lessons."

"She looks like she'd be a good student."

"I did think of that."

Yoongi smiled dreamily. "I think she'd be good at anything."

"Need I remind you that you're not a lovesick schoolboy waiting for a letter from his forbidden lover?" he said, "You are not in human form right now, please remember you are baring your teeth and it's mildly threatening."

"Oh, sorry. How am I supposed to smile when I look like this?"

"I wouldn't know. I've never been a wild, horned, giant cat."

Yoongi let out a low growl. "What's the use of learning how to be a better person," he began, looking at the books around him, "And working so hard to be patient, empathic and understanding, when I look like this? My whole appearance is disgusting. She'll never like me, much less love me."

The familiar feeling of panic began to take hold of him. "Oh, no, I'm starting to feel it again," he said, sensing how breathless he was becoming, "I have a year left, I don't think I can make it. My whole existence relies on the emotions of one girl. Why is this so hard? Why am I so afraid? Why did she have to turn me into this- this monster? I don't think I can do this-"

Viscount Kim took a chair, sitting in front of him. "Yoongi."

Whenever the viscount addressed him as his name, that meant two things.

He was either positing himself as a friend being there for another friend, or he was deeply angry - which was rare, because Viscount Kim would usually get annoyed.

Right now, it was the former, and the prince looked at his companion.

His voice was small. "Yes, hyung?"