✔️ You're not him | K.TH

PROLOGUE

It's like I'm living the same day, again and again.

Life without you has taken a toll on me, and I don't know how to move on without you.

Without your burning touches on my skin. Without your playful kisses around my face. Without your long fingers that would play with the strands of my brown curls. Without your boxy smile that would crease your eyes with mirth. Without your deep voice that would send chills down my skin.

How am I supposed to move on?

Why did fate decide to snatch you away from me? Snatch away the only anchor that kept my sanity in place. How am I supposed to live on like this?

Choi Jisoo

"Jisoo?" A pause, "Choi Jisoo!"

My head slipped off my palm and hit the table when the voice echoed among the walls of my bedroom. I looked over to the door and found a head popped through the crack.

I quickly wiped away the tears off my cheeks and smiled as brightly as I could, but I knew it never reached my eyes no matter how much I tried.

"Hobi." I threw the blanket off my legs and walked over to the door to welcome my older brother, "What brings you here?"

Without a word, he pulled me into his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around me. All the pain I held inside of me was released in the forms of sobs and tears. I coughed out strangled cries in his chest, not caring about ruining his shirt.

"I miss him." My fingers held onto his shirt like my life depended on it, "I miss him so much!"

I felt Hobi's fingers rake through my messy hair and getting caught by the knots that I hadn't brushed out for a few days. He didn't stop me from crying but only encouraged me to let it all out.

After what felt like forever, I pulled away from his chest and rubbed my face with my palms. I wasn't feeling well. Mentally, emotionally and physically ever since he left me to live on with my life.

It wasn't his fault, but why was I the one to suffer with such horrible fate?

It was my fault...

If only I hadn't started an argument and if only I had stopped him from walking out that door... I would've still been in his embrace at this very moment rather than in my brother's arms.

"I know that face." Hobi held my chin between his fingers and tilted my face up to look at it, "It wasn't your fault, Jisoo. It wasn't anyone's fault. You should really stop blaming yourself for what happened. Taehyung wouldn't be happy seeing you like this."

"He's dead, and in a better place. It doesn't matter whether he would be happy or not. I can't be happy knowing that he would've have still been alive if I had just stopped him that night." More tears streamed down my face, blurring my vision. "I-I hate myself. I wish it was me who walked out instead."

I hugged the loose shirt closely to my skin and tried to get some sleep. But the scent on his shirt kept me awake even though it brought me the comfort that no one else was able to give me since he left.

I drowned in the darkness of my room, feeling the void in me grow bigger and bigger with every passing second. This was not how I imagined my life to be.

I built a kingdom of dreams to which he was the king...

Through the blurriness of my eyes, I felt the room glow with a deep blue hue. For a moment, it felt like an aquarium. I sat up and wiped my eyes to search the source of the light.

A ring of light glimmer by my window, spinning like a wheel in the same spot. If my circumstances weren't as dreadful as it was right now, then I would've been running around like a maniac calling every emergency hotline. But that wasn't the case, not now. Not since he died.

I took slow and cautious steps towards the floating ring and stared at it with awe. It felt like a dream. Like magic. It felt like it was something that would be life-changing.

Involuntarily, my fingers lifted up, making its way towards the ring as if I was being lured.

Little did I know that this would change my life forever.