the split

chapter 1

I stood there, in that crowded hall, fully aware of every single pair of eyes burning into my back. There was a long wait; at least, that's what it felt like. Every wait feels like forever when in front of hundreds of people. Especially when you have a life changing decision on your hands. One you can never reverse. I slowly lifted up the knife and pierced my skin. The pain was brief. I had to focus.The blood was dripping and I couldn't wait any longer. I noticed a tiny puddle of blood building up on the floor as I stood there. Silent. Mind racing.

Abnegation? I'd be forced to constantly pretend to be someone else, live like a kind and giving person, which I'm not. Sure, I like to give things, but I have to draw a line. And yeah, I can be selfish sometimes. I'm only human. But if I chose Abnegation I'd be with my parents. And I couldn't leave them on their own. Could I?

Dauntless? I'd get to be brave, do crazy things and finally get whatever I want out of my life. I could jump off the trains and get tattoos and do what I felt like. But I'd be alone, surrounded by harsh and cruel people, people who don't care about anyone. People who could be dangerous and... I don't think I'm brave enough for that.

Or should I be erudite? I hadn't really considered that option before, but now Caleb had joined... it seemed to invite me. I realised then how much I desired to learn, to understand the world and to be a part of it. But the people there were cruel and greedy. I wasn't like that... but it called to me. There were things I needed to know. I had such a yearning for knowledge I just...

I don't know what to do. Someone tell me what to do. The puddle of blood on the floor was growing and people were starting to whisper. I needed to do something. Now. My hand was shaking like nothing I'd ever experienced and I held it up. I took a deep breath and held it over the crystal clear bowl of water. My blood fell. As it hit the water, it billowed out until the bowl was full of a dullish pink liquid. My blood, mixed with Erudites faction symbol. Faction before blood.
My heart was pounding as I considered my choice. Was it right? Should I have done it? A voice in my head told me that it made no difference now anyway. The choice had been made. And it could never be changed. Not ever. Erudite was my home now, my destiny, my fate.

As I finally turned to look at the cheering erudites, I comforted myself with one last thought. At least I'll be with Caleb. I didn't want to think about my parents, my friends. All those I had let down. I could think about them later and cry for the misery I had caused. But not yet. Right now, I was heading towards my future, and no one could tell me how to live it. I was on my way to Erudite.

Bring it on.