𝐓𝐞𝐧 𝐓𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐬

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐓𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐬 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞

Sweet dreams and beautiful days, yes that is what I call my life these days. It feels as if I live in a dream land. Where all my wishes gets fulfilled even before I ask for it. It feels to be blessed to see her in front of my eyes every time I want to. It feels privileged to experience her care and concern for me. In short I feel extraordinary whenever she is close, or is in my thoughts. Love you Adhya, very much.

Smile reached to my ears and this feeling of fulfillment made me blush. The soft breeze touched my face as if love filled to my surroundings. I rushed, rushed my car to reach home where she might be waiting for me. I smiled more.

Turns and lanes passed and I reached my home. The closed wooden door engulfed me in a homely feeling already. I got down smilingly and after parking the car opened the door slowly. Adhya keeps the door open at this time because it is the time for me to return from my job.

To my surprise the lights were off of every room. I furrowed my brows, as a sudden fear started to fill my heart and I hoped my Adhya to be fine.

"Adhya... Adhya" I called her name twice taking pause for few seconds.

No reply came but my phone rang. It was Adhya's number.

"Come up Raj, I am in our room" she said over the phone.

Peace filled my heart listening to her voice but Adhya sounded sad. I wondered why but somewhere I felt I know the reason probably. Thus, keeping away my guesses I walked upstairs towards our room.

Another surprising view welcomed me inside. Our room was decorated with scented candles. In that dim glow of those burning candles Adhya looked ethereal. She was sitting at the edge of our bed and was looking towards me. And then suddenly she looked away. I felt as if I saw tears in her magnificent eyes. My heart broke into pieces. I was loosing words to compose her. How I wished to get her what she wanted but that seemed impossible.

"Raj I want to say something to you, I want to share everything" she sounded broken yet calm.

"Tell me Adhya, I am right here, beside you"

She looked at me for few seconds and fidgeted her fingers and then dropped her gaze.

"Raj can you please not call me by that name for today" it felt way more hurting.

But my Adhya, ohh sorry, Aradhya asked me for something and I won't fulfill her demand? Never possible.

"Okay Aradhya tell me what you wanted to say" I sat beside her keeping my eyes fixed over her face.

"Raj, Adhya is the name by which someone else used to call me too. He was the most special person in my life. He taught that nerdy serious and studious Aradhya to smile for others and to enjoy life besides studies. He taught me that irritating beings can become most close to our heart and..." Adhya paused and again looked at me. This time her eyes met mine. My heartbeats rose and I wanted to not hear anything further but she continued while looking at me "...and he taught me to fall in love"

I couldn't hold me back from looking away and rub my palms. Pain started spreading all over my heart. I gulped, my throat pained too. Suddenly Adhya's soft hand rested over my sweating ones. She has hold them tightly. Her silent assurance gave me strength to listen further.

"He was the first one to call me by the name Adhya, he used to say that the name fitted me perfectly" yes that name do fits her perfectly, I thought "and then my life changed taking a complete turn. He went away from my life for our personal benefits, as he mentioned so, and that serious introvert Aradhya woke up from her dreamy slumber."

I felt Aradhya's voice becoming shrill with every passing word. She was loosing herself to her past and I can never let my Aradhya to loose. Yes, this may sound selfish but I cannot let go of her. I love her way too much to let her go. But all these words failed to assure my poor heart. I know I wanted her but I can't force her ever. I love her, damn!

"Raj..." she breathed deep, the way she took my name did something inside my heart.

No that feeling wasn't of hurt, neither it was of happiness but something different, way more different than whatever I felt for her until. I nodded.

"Raj after him I learnt to smile only for my closed ones, for my family who kept the feeling of warmth alive for me. Raj I was happy in my little life and then you happened. Maa told me that you are a good guy, she convinced me to get married to you but..."

"But you never wanted to, I know this" another smile upped my lips, maybe this time sarcasm took the hold over my words.

"Yes and today when I was going through my old diaries, that I brought along to keep my old memories alive, I remembered that this day is his birthday" Aradhya tried to find any change of reaction in me, I understood it through her gaze but nothing affected me.

I don't know why I was feeling special, maybe because my Aradhya was sharing her deepest feelings with me. And knowing that I am the first person to know all these made me feel so many emotions in a moment that I couldn't express anything.

"You know for the first ever time I didn't feel sad for not being beside him on this day in years. I didn't feel bad or hurt to think about him and his memories. Rather I felt great, I felt special and I felt different."

I smiled and she smiled too. Probably the feeling she is talking about is familiar to me but my smile died, very next moment.

"But I hate myself Raj, I hate myself for hurting everyone who are close to me. I fear to let anyone care for me, I fear what if I start living for someone and the person leaves me. I hate myself for feeling this and I hate myself for marrying you" her voice got wet.

I felt a little shiver of her hand over mine and she got up. She went towards the window. Looked up in the sky and continued taking a deep breath.

"Raj I know you love me so much but apart from ignoring to accept this love I did nothing for you. I tried Raj, I tried a lot to forget him and accept you but everytime you did something special for me I thought of him. I am feeling like a cheater. I don't know how to say sorry for this but I am sorry, very sorry Raj for hurting your feelings everytime. I am sorry " and Aradhya broke into countless sobs.

I felt she was not only crying but expressing her feelings for me through those tears. My heart filled with more of respect and love for her. Somewhere I got to know that she has started to trust me for life and now only thing left is to make her realise that. I will make her realise, I will love her.

"Aradhya I know, how it is to fall in love for the first time. I know how it feels when the person you love ignores you. I know everything that you said except the feeling of separation. But believe me I don't want to feel the pain of separation, I don't want you to go away and I know you won't go away" to my surprise she smiled with tears in her eyes and nodded, first nodded in yes and then in no.

"You think you only ignore me but have you ever thought about your own actions whenever I am sick. Your care surpasses everything. Your concern towards me becomes way more than the feeling of love can do. Yes maybe you still do not feel love for me but I know someday you will. Atleast we have some connection and that is enough for us" I sounded so confident while saying all these and walked towards her.

Stood beside her and looked up in the sky. The moon was spreading the moonlight as if assuring me for whatever I said. I felt peace. I felt complete and I felt right.

"Aradhya you know I always believed in one thing that, love never dies it just spreads into forever, and believe me we will prove it. For us, for you. And..." I paused, closed my eyes, felt all the emotions and said it "I love you" Aradhya smiled and looked at me.

She was thinking something, I decided not to ask and kept looking at her. She came close and softly leaned her head over my shoulder, held my hand and closed her eyes.

That feeling of silence was telling me more than any words can describe. I got to know that day, Aradhya and Raj were forever. No past, no problems and no fear can break them apart. We are forever. I tightened the hold over her hand and closed my eyes too.

__________

A short story (I may write few more parts depending on the response). Please do let me know the areas of improvement.

Much love always
-Nilanjana ❤️