Shattered Love

Makayla's P.O.V

          "How could you? Where did I go wrong? Why didn't you come to me? I could've helped you. What am I going to do without you? Why would you do this? I could've saved you. Please let this be a nightmare that I wake up from. Please tell me don't let this actually be real. This can't be real ... I was supposed to save you" these thoughts scattered through my mind and I burst out into tears again but this time I fell to my knees. I cried praying to God or whoever was up there watching us that this wasn't real, praying the love of my life was coming back to me. The policewoman helped me up off the ground and escorted me back into my house. Her lips were moving but I couldn't hear anything she was saying, it was like I was under water. She helped me sit on the couch and then let herself out. I just stared blankly feeling numb and yet feeling every emotion possible all at one time. I looked over to the fireplace and immediately noticed my wedding picture. I went to pick it up, in this picture everything was perfect. From the purple and orange sunset sky on the beach that made the water and Harmony's dark green eyes sparkle like never before. I loved her smile because of her deep laugh lines, how straight and bright her teeth were. I loved how her straight middle parted hair helped you to notice her tiny nose or how it made her forehead look smaller. She looked absolutely stunning in this picture, but the feeling of pain and anger pour over me like a wave crashing on the beach. I threw my wedding across the room watching it crash into the wall causing it to shatter. I grabbed every picture of Harmony whether it was her by herself or a picture of us together and threw it across the room. I watched every picture frame shatter as tears filled my eyes. I watched as the glass fragments shimmered in the light and feel to my knees begging and pleading to god that this was some sort of joke, that she was actually alive, that she didn't leave me here. I desperately wanted her to walk through the door and just hold me, but it wasn't going to happen. I was on my knees for hours crying until I had no more tears left. I couldn't bring myself to sleep in the same bed where Harmony once slept so I slept on the couch. I hardly slept that night I was tossing and turning asking myself "How could you just leave me here? How could you just break me like this? Why would you do this?" But I couldn't seem to find any of the answers I needed. Hours passed in the blink of an eye and I woke up to the sun in my face. That day the sun didn't shine as bright and the colors weren't as beautiful. The world seems dull as if it had lost its color. I almost called out Harmony's name forgetting she wasn't here anymore. Every time I thought of her or said her name, I felt my heart break in my chest. I walked to the bathroom to take a nice hot shower before going to the police station. I walked past the mirror and I didn't even recognize myself. My cheeks were stained with mascara from all my tears, my eyes were bloodshot red, and my hair was all over the place, and my teeth were stained with lipstick. I threw my hair up into a ponytail, undressed and stepped into the shower. The hot water hitting my skin and the steam filling the room washed all my sorrows away. Around an hour later I got out the showed feeling a little better. I looked down at my wedding ring and watched as the five-carrot cut diamond sparkled. I remember how shocked I was when Harmony proposed mostly because I almost died. I left my mind drift to that day as I hold my ring tight in my hand. I had on a tight silky red dress that showed off my chest with red heels. My toes were painted pink to match my nails and my hair was in a short curly bob style. Harmony wore a black button up shirt that was perfectly ironed and tucked perfectly into her black skinny jeans. A red tie that matched my dress perfectly. She wore her all black uptown's. Harmony didn't like dressing up as much as I did but she did it because I asked, I wanted a romantic dinner. We were laughing and talking the whole night. Seeing her bright white smile warmed my heart in every way imaginable. She ordered desert for me that night. "She'll have the chocolate lava cake with vanilla ice cream on top and both caramel and fudge drizzled on top, the chocolate covered strawberry on the side not on top and absolutely no nuts at all." she said. I looked at her in awe because I haven't had a lava cake with ice cream since I was a little girl and she knew just how I liked it. "What? You didn't think I'd forget how you like your lava cakes did you?" she chuckled. We continued laughing and talking and our desert arrived. I was so excited to eat my lava cake, like a kid in a candy store. Harmony just stared at me like she knew something that I didn't, but I didn't pay her any mind. She kept telling me to slow down but without knowing it I ate my ring and nearly died choking on it. At first Harmony was confused and worried she thought they put a peanut in the cake because I'm allergic. She began to panic and yell at the staff members. I banged on the table to grab her attention and pointed to my neck. I grabbed my neck to show I was choking. Harmony immediately pushed the staff workers and the table out her way to get to me. She did the Heimlich maneuver on me and there it was, my ring. It flew halfway across the room before a waiter picked it up for me. Harmony hugged me tight, but I was still in shock. The waiter cleaned the ring for us and handed it to Harmony. Harmony grabbed my hand and got on one knee.

         "Makayla,I love you more than anything. I never knew what love was before I met you andI am honestly terrified to lose you. I want you to be the first thing I seewhen I wake up in the morning and the last thing I see when I go to sleep atnight. You're my rock, my lover, and my best friend all wrapped up in one. I'drather fight with you a thousand times than to not have you in my life. I'vefallen too deeply in love with you now I can't see myself living without you orbeing a part of a world that you're not in. I want you by my side for the restof my life. Makayla Nicole Thomas will you make me the happiest woman in theuniverse and become my wife?" She asked me with tears filling her eyes and Iscreamed yes with tears in mine. I jumped in her arms and kissed her. Her softplump lips against mine made the world disappear. I didn't understand how wecould go from being so happy to me living without you, to you taking your ownlife? I walked out of the bathroom and into my bedroom. Harmony's dark redsweater on the edge of the bed caught my eye. I wanted to tell myself that Iwas done crying, but I knew that wasn't true. I sat down next to Harmony'ssweater and placed it on my lap. I hugged it tight as I started to cry again."I'm sorry I couldn't save you" I said with tears flowing down my cheeks. I wastruly devastated, they say "God gives his toughest battles to his strongestsoldiers" but this is felt like a battle I simply couldn't win, as if thebattle was over and I had lost before I even had the chance to put on my armor.I sat there for half an hour before I placed the sweater back on the edge of mybed and walked towards my walk-in closet. Harmony and I had our own separatewalk in closet in our room because she complained about the amount of clothesand shoes I owned, she believed there was a limit as to how many clothes a girlcan have and I would complain about the amount of silk durags she owned, atleast what I owned was sensible; of all the things she could've been obsessedwith like clothes, dress shoes, sneakers, designer belts, or even hats she wasobsessed with her silk durags. I remember we had a huge petty argument becauseI used her golden durag and got hair oil on it. She was absolutely furious withme and told me I got oil on her durag on purpose, that's I never understood herobsession with them. Thinking about that now I chuckled it was so stupid, and Inever did apologize for messing up her durag or her "silky" as she called it. Ibegan to get dressed. I threw on my bright yellow off-shoulder crochetedsweater dress with my white open toe sandals with strings that lace up to mythigh and my white purse. I threw my hair up in to a neatly slicked highponytail with two strains of each side dangling in front of my eye. As I walkedtowards my room door to leave out, I glanced at her closet and thought aboutour argument over her silky and how we'll never have silly arguments like thatagain. I looked at the floor trying my hardest not to cry and walked out. Ipicked my head up as I closed the door and walked downstairs to my car. I droveall the way to the station while listening to Alicia Keys "No One". Whether itwas a good or bad day Alicia Keys would always cheer me up but today the songdidn't sound the same. It sounded depressing as if she was telling me how Itruly felt. Hundreds of memories with Harmony came flooding back hitting melike a wave crashing on a beach as I pulled into the station parking lot. Iturned the car off and took a deep breath holding back all my tears as Igripped the steering wheel tight and shut my eyes. As I let out my breath, Iopened my eyes and loosened my grip. I told myself "I can do this, Makayla youcan do this, you got this". I stepped out of my car and walked into the stationwith my head up. I approached the first officer I seen and tapped on his broadshoulders. "Excuse I'm here to speak to an officer about the death of my wifeHarmony Thomas". He turned around and his big dark brown caught my attentionfor some reason. He had a big pretty white smile, but I've heard all dark-skinmen had pretty smiles. "Hi, you must be Mrs. Thomas, my name is Officer Brooksand I'm truly sorry for your loss" he seemed familiar, but I couldn't quite putmy finger on where exactly I knew him from.