No commitment.
No more heartaches.
Just kissing.
Could it really be that simple?
Nate Herond. He's the guy everyone adores. Quarterback of the football team, a joker that ain't miss a chance to fool around, a trutly hearttrob every girl fall for, a...
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Song: Bad liar - Imagine Dragons
........................................
Nate
I'm a total fuck up.
I'd been glaring the same question for way too long and still nothing useful get out of it. If I couldn't even manage some homework how was I supposed to pass the fucking exams?
Maybe I won't.
Again, that pinching anxiety settled in my chest. I couldn't afford to fail. As much as I'd improved lately, the coach won't hesitate to kick me out the team. We both know the team need me, but he was strong headed about this.
And without the football I could kiss goodbye any chance of getting any college interested. My ticket out of here was at risk and yet I could only blankly stare down at the stupid Sociology essay proposal.
You're so idiotic, a retarded three year old would be more useful, Harold's voice laughed at the back of my mind, shoving those insults I grew so accustomed to my face and clenching the apprehension I already felt.
Why do I have to be such a mess? I wished he wouldn't affect me this much. I wished my mother would cut bonds and get rid of him. I wished I was smart enough to realize I need to go away and stop caring for a woman who clearly didn't feel the same for me.
My fingers itched to grab my phone, just like they'd been through the few last days; but I balled them into fists, ignoring the increase in my pulse.
No. I'm not calling Hailey.
But you'll never get this on your own...
I shook my head at the little annoying voice in my head, snapping out of it and pushing the damn book away, vexation filling the void in me. She wanted out, I'm giving her out. And it wasn't like she would be in the mood of helping me with how things were.
Fuck, why did she have to complicate it? We clearly stipulated no commitment in our deal.
No attachement. No feelings. We didn't even pact to be exclusive and she went on and put on a jealous act.
It angered me all the more because I found myself realizing I hadn't been with anyone else for a while and didn't even noticed. I realized that she'd somehow slowly made her way into my quotidian life, into my free hours, into my thoughts... and now every hour was a constant battle with my pride because I found myself missing her.
How fucked up was that?
She hasn't talked to me for barely a couple days and still I was missing her. The disappointment in her expression when she called the deal off was horribly burned in my mind.
