"𝐖𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐍𝐔𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑", ʲᵃᵈᵉⁿ ʰᵒˢˢˡᵉʳ

chapter 12

𝐚/𝐧: 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭. 𝐢 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐮𝐩𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢 𝐚𝐦 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞. 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬.

*𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐩 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫*

𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐯

jaden and i are still very close friends and we still like each other but with everything about josh its been hard to stay happy. today is josh's funeral. his parents had asked jaden and i to plan it. we decided to have it in canada because he always talked about it there and we didn't want to make his family come to la. jaden and i flew out three days ago and got everything planned. we were on our way to the site with his family behind us. jaden and i drove our rental car there. 

blair: jaden i hate this.

jaden: hate what

blair: this. the fact that we our going to our 18 year old best friends funeral. the fact that he was so depressed and we never even thought to break that damn door down the first day he said he didnt want to eat. we could have prevented this but we did absolutely nothing except stand on the other side of that fucking door knowing he was at his lowest and not breaking it down. 

jaden: blair i know, and i hate it too but what can we do about it now. he is gone. and i miss him with everything i have and i would give anything to get him back but the world is evil and doesnt work like that. so we are going into that funeral today and not forgetting but letting go, letting go of all the pain we have because he would want us to move on and live our lives.

at this point i was crying knowing we cant get him back. we got to the funeral site and we saw his family. i walked over to his mom and we just hugged. she started bawling her eyes out

blair: i know he didnt deserve this. if i could go back in time and change any of this i would change all of it.

people started getting here. it was a dark day outside. cloudy and cold. fog filled the ground as the crisp october air started blowing little wind gusts. the funeral began and people started making speeches. it was time for jaden and i.

blair: hello everyone im blair and this is jaden. i didnt know josh that long but it felt like i did. there was one night i spent at the house and josh and i stayed up all night talking about everything. during the short amount of time i did know him he treated me with nothing but kindness. i remember one time i was so upset and he noticed and asked me what was wrong and i told him and he told me this "its just a bad day blair, not a bad life." so josh its just a bad day, not a bad life. and i know if he were here right now he would want us to move on and live our lives like he is still here. so today i am not forgetting about josh but letting go of the pain i have over his death. josh thank you for being the best brother i never had. i know you will looking down on us everyday from heaven as a beautiful angel. fly high angel boy. i love you.

jaden made his speech and then it was time to lower the casket. we all got to say our goodbyes to him. jaden and i walked up to the casket hand in hand and said goodbye. once everyone finished they started lowering it. we watched as he went into the ground but his soul went into the sky. once they finished i saw jaden staring at a tree.

jaden: hey uh blair do u see that.

he pointed over to the tree. i saw a shadowy figure standing next to it.

blair: y- yea what is that

jaden: i dont know. can we go look

blair: sure

he grabbed my hand and started walking over but after our third step it disappeared.

jaden: damnit

blair: jaden...

he pulled me into a hug and we just stayed there. i contemplated telling him something i've been keeping in, but it wasn't the right time.

a/n: hope you enjoyed! luv u all